A no-broom edition of Office Baseball
Posted on July 9th, 2009 – 12:10 PMBy Michael Rand
If the Twins can’t beat the Yankees today — with the Bombers throwing a spot starter and bullpen-by-committee out there, while Minnesota goes with Francisco Liriano — then it will officially be clear that this year’s Twins are scared of the big, bad Yankees.
Will it happen? We’re about to find out. As the game unfolds:
*Punch a wall if a non-star Yankee gets a big hit.
*Purchase a delicious treat from the vending machine if you noticed that A) RandBall favorite but recent struggler Brendan Harris is not in the lineup today and B) the move of Cuddyer into the 5-hole and Kubel down to 6, to split up the big lefties, lasted exactly one game.
*Buy a Kubel jersey online if he hits a home run.
17 Responses to "A no-broom edition of Office Baseball"
Break someones left elbow if Liriano gives up 5 or more runs.
“*Punch a wall if a non-star Yankee gets a big hit.”
They’re all stars, Rand.
If there is an error by a middle infielder start stalking Brian Roberts.
If Liriano walks in a run while facing the No. 8 hitter (who’s hitting a whopping .177), actually start wor… workk… working?
Walk around with your R.A. Dickie out if he is in the game by the fourth inning.
Koobie doobie doo!
I’m getting the feeling that Kubelzee’s homer will be today’s Lone Bright Spot, brought to you by Gluek Brewing and Sports to the Max.
If the Twins don’t score in the bases loaded, one out situation, you can chalk this one up in the “L” column
It’s not often you see a guy walk in two runs.
Hey look at that, now the Yankees pitchers are missing the zone. I’m starting to think this ump has a tiny strike zone.
You also don’t often see Mauer swing at ball 3
A strange inning, indeed.
Delmon will hit a HR to win this game.
Can someone explain what happened to Morneau in the bottom of the 7th? Did he get caught stealing?
I can’t do one of those fancy screen shots, but Gamecast still shows the Yankees only have a 97% chance to win this game. So, the Twins have that going for them, which is nice.
If you’re driving west on 94 (in the impossible instance you’re able to find an entrance ramp onto North 35W to get you to West 94), gawk at the amazing stadium, then promptly spill your coffee all over your passenger and ask him/her why the Twin’s payroll hasn’t risen since 1992.
