StarTribune.com

OK, we’ll finally post the drunk badger story

Posted on July 14th, 2009 – 3:15 PM
By Michael Rand

The RandBall rule has to be adhered to. We’ve been sent the drunk badger story by three people. Therefore, we will now post it.

A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.

A motorist called police near the central town of Goslar to report a dead badger on a road — only for officers to turn up and discover the animal alive and well, but drunk.

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

Having failed to scare the animal away, officers eventually chased it from the road with a broom.

Please make (in)appropriate Wisconsin jokes in the comments.

10 Responses to "OK, we’ll finally post the drunk badger story"

Stu says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Since when is Camp Randall spelled G-E-R-M-A-N-Y?

Jon says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:30 pm

Police discovered the nocturnal beast had eaten cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

I call plagiarism. This sentence was lifted verbatim from the handbook given to new Wisconsin RAs, specifically from the section “What can go wrong if you don’t keep an eye on your freshman.”

lattewarrior says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:33 pm

In his defense, Ron Dayne’s doctor advised him that eating more fruit would help keep his weight under control.

Dave MN says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

cherries from a nearby tree which had turned to alcohol and given the badger diarrhea.

I didn’t know Leinenkugel’s had created a Cherry Weiss.

Merx says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:50 pm

So that’s what where Brooks Bollinger is, I thought NFL Europe went under.

Roger Strom says:

July 14th, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Today’s unofficial Randball Farm Report, brought to you by WCCO radio, Bongard’s Creamery, and the Lafayette Elevator:

The Farmer’s Almanac says you should annually wait to harvest your second-cut hay crop until after a Gopher football recruit fails the college entrance exam. Fire up the haybine!

http://www.startribune.com/sports/gophers/50679812.html

Joker says:

July 14th, 2009 at 4:16 pm

“A badger in Germany got so drunk on over-ripe cherries it staggered into the middle of a road and refused to budge, police said on Wednesday.”

Had this happened in Mankato, the badger would have been dead.

lattewarrior says:

July 14th, 2009 at 4:37 pm

-1 to Joker for defaming Minnesota State by bringing up the past.

Brandon says:

July 14th, 2009 at 5:02 pm

At least when Ron Johnson misuses a cherry, he sends flowers afterward.

/Fast Times’d

Joker says:

July 15th, 2009 at 8:58 am

I went there too latte…also was one of the 10 people that actually graduated.