Dear Home Run Derby,

Thank you for inviting me to participate in your festivities in St. Louis. I think I at least performed decently last night, unlike Brandon Inge. But I think you and I both know that, at the end of the day, this just isn’t for me. Look into my master’s calm eyes. Notice the weight transfer. Look at how the hands move. I was specifically programmed, through years of childhood and adolescent development, to hit line drives. I use all parts of the field. Nothing is wasted. Trying to pull the ball in the air to right field just isn’t me. I hope you understand that we can never see each other again.

Best wishes,

Joe Mauer’s swing

———

So, it was fun while it lasted. Mauer knocked two out of the park right away and it looked like he might be able to keep it going. Alas, he was stuck on 5, and when it came time for the swing-off (named, we’re told, for a lewd 1970s ritual), all Joe Mauer’s bat wanted to do was hit line drives. It’s probably just as well.

But we duck out this morning with a question: despite that early month on the DL, Mauer seems to be hammering away at the two biggest questions about his game — power and durability — this year. He already has a career-high in HRs, and day game off following a night game is hardly automatic anymore.

1) Can you recall any similar adjustments made by great Twin Cities athletes in order to silence even the faintest of criticism?

2) In 15 years, what kinds of things do you think will be said about Joe Mauer?

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