StarTribune.com

Wednesday (live from the PGA) edition: Wha’ Happened?

Posted on August 12th, 2009 – 8:58 AM
By Michael Rand

pga.jpgThere has been nary a Tiger Woods sighting yet today — nor was there expected to be, given that he has said he is not playing a practice round. At some point, one would imagine Woods will emerge and take some practice swings, chips and putts. For now, though, we are amusing ourselves by walking the course and listening in as fans mill around wondering when/if Tiger might show up.

“There’s someone down on the (driving) range,” one said. “It looks like Tiger.”

(It looked absolutely nothing like Tiger).

John Daly is said to be on the course — must have started around 7 — and we’re hoping to do a little walking with him in not too long. We’re told Phil Mickelson should be on the course in due time as well.

We’ve been here since about 6:40 and we, too, feel a little lost without The Great Cat prowling around. For those who don’t know, we are resuming our Tracking Tiger feature from seven years ago. We wrote this for today’s special section.

As such, action on RandBall will tend to be PGA-centric (and sometimes non-existent while we’re out on the course) through Sunday. If you don’t like golf, feel free to talk amongst yourselves about Rick Pitino.

15 Responses to "Wednesday (live from the PGA) edition: Wha’ Happened?"

Dave MN says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:11 am

I’d rather talk about the Twins.

Was last night an “I give up” moment for any of the rest of you?

The Twins have given up double digit runs in 8 of their last 20 games. If I were an opposing player, I’d be champing at the bit to step in the box against any of the Twins pitchers (except maybe Pavano, but that’s based on one start with us)

Stu says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:15 am

“All the negativity that’s in this town sucks. And don’t get me started on the lack of women’s health clinics.”

jama says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:19 am

Dave

Last night was the “I give up, giving up”. At one point in the third inning I said, “I’d be willing to bet everything I own that the Twins won’t make the playoffs”, and nobody I was with disagreed.

The least the Twins could do is starting throwing at people. Baseball fights are at least funny to watch.

jama says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:20 am

I also liked that Michael snuck into his column the fact that he married up. For those that don’t know, that is how you get out of the doghouse.

Jon says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:35 am

“_______ _______ is not walking through that door!”

(Note: originally this joke did involve a name, but I chickened out. Rest assured that the original joke was in poorer taste than any other joke in the history of RandBall.)

jama says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:41 am

Jon,

Michael Jackson?
Stephen Hawking?
Jeff Reardon’s Beard?

Stu says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:42 am

Jon: if you were going anywhere near Matt Sussman’s formulation of that joke, yeah, good call.

Clarence Swamptown says:

August 12th, 2009 at 9:53 am

George Tiller was my guess too, good idea not using his name.

I have a mind-numbing 3-hour shift in a Dakota County Fair booth that starts in 10 minutes. YOU rest assured I will use that entire time to think of a way to reclaim the poor-taste joke title.

Stu says:

August 12th, 2009 at 10:20 am

I have a mind-numbing 3-hour shift in a Dakota County Fair booth

Looks like the Quilting Demonstration is only two hours long, Clarence. So, there’s that.

Jon says:

August 12th, 2009 at 10:28 am

Man, the Dakota County Fair is huge! They have actual vendors and stuff.

(The Big Stone County Fair, in general, has about fifteen booths, three of which are 4-H related and eight of which are church-related. That said, it does have the inestimable pleasure of two different demolition derbies, which is of course important.)

Joker says:

August 12th, 2009 at 10:50 am

Michal Rand, does your phone have the clarity of a fluffer’s goggles or is that what it looks like in Chaska?

robdog says:

August 12th, 2009 at 10:52 am

The Twins are done. We’ll get em next year.

jama says:

August 12th, 2009 at 11:35 am

Did anyone else see that the PGA/Hazeltine isn’t allowing cell phones on the course? This includes Doctors that are on call.

1. Is Rand now a wanted criminal?
2. Are they doing full body cavity searches?
3. How ridiculous of a rule is that? They have a new thing where phones can vibrate when there is an incoming call.

newbie says:

August 12th, 2009 at 11:41 am

The pick-up truck demolition derby* at the Dakota county is the greatest spectacle in the world.

*Not sure if they still do it. We haven’t been for a while.

Clarence Swamptown says:

August 12th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

Stu: I hope them gals can quilt me up some new balls, because I just sweated mine off. I liked it better when we weren’t having summer.

Jon: I have been to the Big Stone County Fair. It’s better than Dakota’s because it’s free.

newbie: I think the truck demo derby is on Sunday. I do know that they have a beer garden. And apparently Johnny Holm is playing on Friday night. I wonder if he would remember me from his concert in Fargo in 1995. I was the drunk guy.