Your youtube love of the day is a hockey fight memorable both for its duration and the seamless way in which a hockey announcer slipped into the role of boxing announcer. Seriously, this guy couldn’t have been more excited about two guys on skates putting up their dukes. “Get the heck out of my kitchen!”

Lions assistant Joe Cullen has been fined $20,000 and suspended for Sunday’s Bears game, thanks to two arrests this season. The second, we cannot condone: drunken driving. The first, however, stemmed from an incident Aug. 24 in which Cullen went through the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant naked. Let’s just say a similar stunt was pulled by a certain writer in his younger days, and thankfully no arrests were made — just a rather comical (at the time) order and quite the scene. As Maude Lebowski once said, “You can imagine where it goes from here.” He fixes the cable?

Terrell Owens has been fined $35,000 for spitting on the Falcons’ D’Angelo Hall, though the clownish WR was not suspended, so all you fantasy owners can calm down. The fine was just announced, but the folks at Intertops.com are already trying to turn crass into cash. They’ve posted odds on whom T.O. will spit on next. Sadly, “himself” is not an option.

The suspensions are in: 15 games for Carmelo Anthony, 10 games for Nate Robinson and J.R. Smith, various suspensions for four others, and somehow nothing for Knicks coach Isiah Thomas. The last part is too bad, as some time off from bungling the coaching of the Knicks might have given him even more time to devote to bungling his GM duties. In case you missed it, here’s the brawl in question. For some reason, the film quality is not so good. But you get the general idea: Fists, punches, general unhappiness.

India’s Santhi Soundarajan is likely to have her silver medal for winning the 800m in the Asian Games taken away, so adjust your bets accordingly. Ah, but you might be asking: Why would they take her medal away? Well, it turns out they have these things called “gender tests.” Santhi took one, and it revealed she did “not have the sexual characteristics of a woman.” We could go so many places from here, but it’s probably best to just let the facts speak for themselves.