Harmless fun


How much does a polar bear weigh?

Thursday, January 22nd, 2009

polar.jpgWe have it on good authority that a Big Ten quarterback (not Adam Weber or any other member of the Gophers) was at a college party when he sauntered over to a couple of ladies (who recognized him). Without knowing their names or anything else about them, this is how he started the exchange:

QB: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Ladies: Um, what?
QB: How much does a polar bear weigh?
Ladies: Um, we have no idea.
QB: Enough to break the ice. I’m [Name Redacted].

In the annals of Big Ten athlete pickup stories that we’ve heard, that at least ranks favorably in comparison to the chap who long ago tried to convince a cafeteria worker that she was the special one by telling her, “How would you like to come cut oranges up in my room sometime?”

For some mid-day fun, though, we ask a couple of harmless questions:

1) Polar bear line: Opposable thumbs up or down?

2) Best and worst pick-up lines you have ever used/heard?

Keep it clean and come out boxing!

A vote for Molly Oberstar is a vote for full lips, long legs

Tuesday, January 20th, 2009

oberstar.jpgColleague Rachel Blount passes along a tip about Molly Oberstar, a Duluth native and one of three Minnesota women competing in the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. In the course of her column about local skaters, she had no room for this tidbit: Oberstar has entered Mpls. St. Paul Mag’s “Real Model” contest and is one of 12 women up for vote right now. Rachel thought that might be of some interest to RandBall readers; we agreed. Now, obviously Oberstar is interested in far more than just being really, really, really ridiculously good looking. As Blount notes, Oberstar is a back-to-back skating champion at the senior women’s event at the Midwestern Sectionals. But she also doesn’t seem to be particularly shy about promoting her other talents. Per her entry on the contest page (photo via that page as well):

I have physical attributes that would qualify me to be a real model. I am 5-feet-8-inches tall with a slender build that is toned by fifteen years of competing in the sport of figure skating. My eyes are large, my lips full, my legs long. Many have told me that I should be a model. Some have even told me that I have an exotic, European look. Beyond appearances, I have a natural affinity for expression. Figure skating has trained my body to move in myriad ways—from graceful to athletic—and my face to portray a wide range of emotions.

[Undoes necktie*. Unbottons top button of shirt**. Wonders who turned up the thermostat***].

*Necktie? Wearing pants is dressing up.
**Shows what you know. This is a fake tuxedo T-shirt, suckers.
***Nobody would ever do that here. Put on a sweater! It’s a recession!

This is your chance to impress the British ladies

Monday, January 15th, 2007

“Ice skating in Britain is cool — and that’s official.” That’s the lead paragraph from this Reuters story, which says skating is the new fad across the pond. Though we don’t like stories with puns in the lead (ice … cool … smack! …), we will accept the story’s premise. Hey, they gave us the delicious fish and chips at Brit’s Pub, and we gave them ice skating. It’s time to grab your skates and head to London to show off all the sweet moves you learned growing up in frozen Minnesota.

He’s Ron Burgundy?

Friday, January 12th, 2007

In a fairly amusing bit, Boston.com has put together a slideshow combining questions from Ron Burgundy (that’s “Anchorman,” and if you didn’t know that, this won’t be funny. At all. Nothing will be funny.) and answers from Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. You know, because New England is playing San Diego this weekend. (Thanks to the AOL Fanhouse for the link).