As usual, Big Daddy Drew, frequent contributor to Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber (and soon-to-be-host of the exciting new cooking show “Meat Sweat Moans”) joins us to break down Sunday’s Vikings game. It was a little less verbose than usual, probably because there is far less to say when the team romps like it did vs. the 49ers.

RandBall: Kevin Williams is a ridiculous man. If we’re talking about Pro Bowlers on the defense, I say him, Pat W. and E.J. Henderson.

Big Daddy Drew: Yeah, I think E.J. has been the real surprise.  His first few years, he was a master at over pursuit, but now he’s become the tackling machine that he was at Maryland.  It’s really quite a turnaround.
RB: Trent Dilfer is still looking for his [redacted].

BDD: I don’t know what that means, but I agree!

RB: T-Jack was solid for a fourth consecutive game, particularly when it mattered.

BDD: Indeed.  Obviously, this wasn’t the stiffest competition, but the fact that he managed to make plays when Peterson got bottled up is something he wouldn’t have been able to do earlier in the year.  His improvement has been amazing.  When he was drafted, there was talk about how much he had to
learn.  But the fact that’s he’s improved at such a quick pace is extremely encouraging.

RB: Chester Taylor is up to 716 yards now; the Vikings could have a pair of 1,000-yard rushers this year.

BDD: And they likely will.  I don’t see that platoon going away, nor should it. With T-Jack playing well, attacking a defense with both backs has overwhelmed teams. And let’s give some dap to the wideouts and Jimmy Kleinsasser. They block their [redacted] off on run plays.

RB: Nice first-quarter challenge of the spot when the play is right in front of you, Nolan. He’s fighting Eric [redacted, of the Jets] for worst coach honors right now (field goal down by 5 with less than 2 minutes left? Really?)

BDD: Really? Cam Cameron doesn’t make your list?

RB: Minor concerns: The offensive line didn’t dominate like it has in weeks past; PJ was human — looked tentative and frustrated, which was the first time I’ve ever seen that from him; the whole team went on cruise control in the second half, and I don’t think they’re good enough to do that yet.

BDD: I agree.  I didn’t mind the off game from PJ.  The rest of the team made up for it by making big plays all over the place.  The second half inertia was kind of discouraging.  But it’s hard to quibble with a team that hangs a 27-0 lead before the half is even over. That’s three games in a row whre the Vikings have not only won, but DESTROYED the other team.  This might be the most surprising Vikings team ever.

RB: That said: 7-6 now, four victories in a row, in control of playoff destiny. Holy [redacted].

BDD: No [redacted].  Too many people are saying nice things about them.  I’m scared. Hold me.

Do you like your Vikings games broken down with a little bit of nonsense and innuendo and absolutely no player quotes? Well, do we have a treat for you. As usual, we’re joined by Big Daddy Drew, who once got a water buffalo to roll over just by looking at it.

RandBall: The Vikings are now 3-0, having outscored opponents by a combined score of 101-30 whenever I get a massage on a Sunday (Falcons, Chargers, Lions). Only a sick-[redacted] sports fan would make the correlation between these two things, but I do enjoy the happy endings … to the games.

Big Daddy Drew: Did Burt Young give you the massages?  ‘Cause I hear he’s the best. Yesterday was surprising because you almost felt like the Giants game was kind of a fluke, given how badly the Giants played.  But yesterday? Yesterday, they played damn near perfect.  It was fun to call for Childress’ head when the Vikes were going 3-6.  But he and the team appear to have really turned a corner. They’re using the running game to set up the pass and keep the other team off the field.  They’re playing to their potential right now, and that’s been really rewarding to watch. That said, a dude on one of the Viking message boards put it well. Basically, he said just when the team is starting to look good and build momentum, they’ll go and drop a game they’re supposed to win.  And that Niner game would certainly appear to be that kind of game.  If they go in and win by 20 points, that would be great.  If they put up a loss like the one they had against KC, this all goes for naught.

RB: Can we start expecting these types of at least decent quarterbacking games from T-Jack? That’s three in a row. And even after his one really bad throw (the pick), he had the [redacted] (though maybe not the brains) to go plowing into his interceptor helmet-first. I’m warming to the kid.

BDD: Yeah, I think we all maybe owe the guy an apology.  Yesterday his throws were spot on.  And he’s just so CALM out there.  That’s a nice quality to have.  I don’t think he rattles that easily.  I also dug the plays he made with his feet.  He wasn’t overrelying on the run, like Vick or someone like
that.  He just made the right decision to run when it was called for.  And that, in turn, opened up the medium-range passing game. Bobby Wade isn’t that good, but four or five times a a game he catches those little ten-yard short posts that go for a first down.  So that was cool.

RB: Purple Jesus. He has healed the sick. He has healed himself.

BDD: Dude, when they hand him the ball, I get so [redacted] excited.  It’s kinda [redacted].  There wasn’t even a trace of a drop in the quality of his running yesterday.  And I thought Childress handled him the exact right way, though I’m not sure he needed to be in during the second half.  But that’s nitpicking.  The play-calling was most excellent.

RB: In retrospect, the injury to PJ might have been the best thing that happened to this team. That’s blasphemy, I know, but hear me out: T-Jack started to assert himself when he didn’t have AP to lean on; Chet Taylor started to run with more authority; the defense picked up its game. Now everything is clicking, and I’m not sure that would have been the case had this remained a one-man show all along.

BDD: Yeah, I can see that.  I think the thing that’s happening is that the o-line just keeps getting better and better, regardless of who’s back there.  And it’s giving T-Jack more confidence (and more time to throw). The pass
protection earlier in the year was [redacted].  Not anymore.  I never would have thought the Cook-Culpepper trade would favor Cook, but there you go. And how about Kleinsasser?  He’s destroying people.

RB: How in the [redacted] does Dwight Smith get into an argument with Childress early in a week that follows a defensive player of the week honor, thus resulting in a benching? That’s just baffling.

BDD: [redacted redacted redacted] stairwell.

RB: Aundrae Allison can return as many kicks as he wants. Troy Williamson’s new job is laminating Childress’ cards.

BDD: Yup.  I think Troy’s days are pretty much over with.  They said it was the longest KO return in team history.  I also feel like it was the FIRST KO return in team history.

RB: That’s four wins in five games, with 29 points or more in all of the victories. I never in a million [redacted] years thought I would write any of those things this season.

BDD: Agreed.  I think there was a big change after the Packer game where Frazier just said, “[redacted] it, let’s release the hounds”.  I mean, they’re zone blitzing and bringing safeties and all sorts of cool [redacted], and it’s working!  And the defense is hitting people HARD.

RB: Playoffs. They control their own destiny, and I have to bump their likelihood from last week’s 20 percent to an even 50-50 now based on how everything else broke Sunday.

BDD: I wouldn’t go that far yet.  The last four games are all winnable, but that’s what makes them daunting.  How this team does with a burden of expectation will be interesting.

RB: A pass rush. Yes.

BDD: Indeed.  Couple extra things: Nifty fake FG.  Why not save it for when we, you know, need it? … What was with the cocktail party that erupted on the field during the Detroit challenge?  I half expected them to break out some Chablis. … MY BOY SIDNEY RICE IS A [REDACTED] STAR!

For the second time in four weeks, the Meltdown is a time of happiness, not sorrow. It is a time to rejoice in the splendor of possibility and to bow at the altar of No. 28. Big Daddy Drew, who once beat a man within an inch of his life for talking bad about Adrian Peterson, took the lead and went first this week. Here we go:

Big Daddy Drew: Quite amazing what a difference playing PJ for the entire game makes, no? Suddenly, the passing game opens up, and the defense plays better because the opposing team barely has a chance to see the field and get in rhythm.  I liked this quote from Childress: “I do have a healthy respect for being able to run it and taking somebody’s will from them, and then playing off of that with play-action.” It’s like he’s almost saying it grudgingly.  It took him half a [redacted] season to figure this [redacted] out? Ride Peterson, and this team can still salvage its season. I just hope the light stays on in Childress’ head.

RandBall: That’s not a bald joke, I hope. In any event, simply speaking, you’re right. Giving AP the ball and letting him make plays is the best option this team has. That said, he’s not going to run for 296 yards, or even half that, every game. But he is the clear No. 1 back now. And that is very nice. Not to be overlooked: this offensive line run-blocks like their [redacted] is on fire, but the pass-blocking is only mediocre. All the more reason to run the ball.

BDD: With apologies to T-Jack, and my hope that he recovers from that nasty fall, it’s obvious to me that Bollinger is the best QB on the roster.  That’s not saying much.  But the two times he’s come into games this year he has been poised, polished, and accurate.  If he isn’t starting next week, it’s a stupid move. T-Jack’s throws before the injury were beyond inaccurate.  Two of them should have been picked.  He’s a practice squad player, period.

RB: Agreed on Bollinger, though that’s more an indictment of the situation than anything else. They would be a functional offense if they had pursued a good QB last offseason.

BDD: And man, that was a nasty fall T-Jack took.  When his arm just stuck up in the air like that and didn’t move?  That was [redacted] creepy. It kind of looked like he was holding up a beer.

RB: Probably a PBR tallboy. T-Jack is such a hipster.

BDD: Know what the best run Peterson had was?  The one where he fumbled. He just explodes out of gang tackles.  There were also a few plays where Peterson beat defenders to the corner.  That isn’t supposed to happen in the NFL.  It’s men vs. boys with him.  It’s the same excitement Moss brought to the WR position.

RB: I have a [redacted] just thinking about it.

BDD: Hey! We ran a screen pass! Amazing how plays like that can sometimes yield successful results!

RB: You mean with a dynamic running game and a mediocre pass-blocking offensive line you can get big yards by pretending to let people get to the QB? Get out of here!

BDD: Philip Rivers is a little [redacted].  He’s the JJ Redick of football. What a whiny [redacted].

RB: Look at that guy, he can’t even pass! (This moment brought to you by “Clerks.”). Oh, and you left out [redacted] and [redacted].

BDD: Horrible officiating.  Why do the Chargers get a magic grace period after having a penalty explained to them?  And why weren’t the Chargers called for holding in the end zone on Pat Williams when they were backed up?  Suddenly, the Chargers were at the 25 the next play. I had the sound off, so I never understood why that happened.

RB: I must have forgotten that play in all the AP bliss. Try not to worry too much about the things you can’t control. Except for snakes. Worry about those a lot.

BDD: I don’t blame Childress for the going for the field goal at the end of the half. The Cromartie return is just one of those freak things.

RB: The only thing that was blame-worthy is that the FG team didn’t even look prepared for the possibility of a return. This happened last year with Hester, right? (Not against the Vikings, but it was still enough of a warning to the rest of the league). After making two big guys miss, he was home free. Be prepared, boys.

BDD: We lost to the Pack earlier this year because Childress didn’t run Purple Jesus in the second half.  I’m hoping circumstances will change this time around.

RB: An upset and they’re on the road to .500 (Raiders at home the following weekend). Force-feed AP. There’s nothing else logical. Oh, and hope No. 4 doesn’t shred you.
BDD: I also thought it was very smart of Childress to let Peterson go for the record.  It’s the kind of gesture that says, “Hey, I was a complete idiot for not giving you the ball enough the first half of the year.  You earned this.”

RB: Agreed, though the horse collar was a breath-holding moment. That could have been very bad. Let’s keep this kid healthy, right?

Yesterday’s game was more infuriating than watching three hours of Kelly Holcomb sticking his fingers in his ear-holes. The upside is it provided plenty of fodder for this week’s meltdown, a feature in which we trade e-mails with the ergonomically correct Big Daddy Drew of Kissing Suzy Kolber (the blog, not the act; please, folks, he would never do that) and Deadspin semi-fame. Let’s get right to it, shall we?

RandBall: Let’s do this Q&A style this week.

RB: Does Brad Childress really think the purpose of the red flag is to throw it when you don’t like what just happened? Seriously, he is the worst all-time challenger, and I didn’t think anyone would ever swipe that trophy off of Mike Tice’s mantle. The Adrian Peterson challenge to start the second half. Ridiculous. And it cost them a timeout that, at least hypothetically, would have given them a sliver of a shot at the end of the game (would have had the ball back with about a minute left instead of 15 seconds).

Big Daddy Drew: Yeah, I don’t get that.  Usually, coaches throw the red flag after someone in the booth has seen a replay and can give him some guidance. But Childress throws the flag like, “Hey!  Let’s hope for the best!” Perhaps it’s all he has to hold onto.  But he did kick that onsides kick after the first touchdown.  That was nice.  I bet someone had to talk him into that.

RB: If all the quarterbacks are healthy next week, which one do you start?

BDD: Do we have to start one?  I wish the NFL had a flex QB/RB position or something.  Oooh!  Oooh!  We could run the single wing!  That would at least give us something to talk about. The QBs are all horrific.  But I have a plan.  First, fire Childress. Then, hire Jason Garrett.  Then, use Garrett to lure Tony Romo here. It could work.  OK, it’ll never work.  But I’d really like it to work.

RB: Does Bryant McKinnie bring the torreador cape onto the field with him, or is that something a defensive end hands him right before running around McKinnie for a sack?

BDD: He’s horrible, and the worst part is that he’s not getting called out for it by announcers.  He in no way justifies his reputation.

RB: Purple Jesus can’t do it by himself. Now what?

BDD: But he only carried 20 times! Didn’t Baldinger say Childress swore he’d get it 25 times? Grrrrrr. The Eagles did their part by tackling brilliantly. But give Peterson the ball another 5 to 10 times, and who knows if he can break one. That said, the Vikings are just a bad, bad team.  And they’ll continue to be one until they find a quarterback.
RB: Is Childress going to last beyond this season? This is a serious question, one that I’ve posed before, but his teams don’t improve as seasons go on. This is now 13 of the past 17 games they have lost. If they finish 5-11 or worse, which is a very real possibility, I think he might be two and done.

BDD: As he should be.  If Wilf doesn’t fire him, then that means he’s the kind of owner who can’t cop to making a mistake. And that’s not a good sign. I have to think Wilf is desperate enough to want to get the team in the public’s favor as quickly as possible.

RB: Is every NFL announcer terrible, or is it just the D-teams the Vikings always get?

BDD: Both.  I actually didn’t mind the announcers.  Last year we got Bill Maas all the time.  At least that doesn’t happen now. [Redacted].

RB: Pats at Colts. Holy [redacted redacted]. When Belichick swings [redacted redacted redacted] Manning [redacted redacted] ear-hole, what’s going to happen?

BDD: All I know is that if the Pats dominate that game, then they will absolutely go 19-0.  And given my feelings towards Boston sports fans, it’s as close to hell as we can possibly get.

We’ll skip the long and rather inappropriate lead-in we had written about the Vikings and ladies of the evening and just jump right into the meat of this latest debacle against Dallas. You all remember Big Daddy Drew. How could you forget? He haunts your dreams. Here we go:

RBB: 12 [redacted] carries. Unacceptable.

BDD: Troy Aikman said PJ wasn’t in position to get the carries, but that’s wrong. When you have Peterson returning kicks, that automatically puts the team at a disadvantage at the beginning of a series,
regardless of how well Chester Taylor played (and he was very good). If Peterson isn’t out there on first down, then trots out on 2nd and 10, it’s a waste. He needs to be in there on 1st down every series, in order to put the team in a better position on 2nd and 3rd down. [Redacted] this platoon [redacted]. It was 24-14 with 6:00 to go, and the Vikings desperately needed a score. And what do they do right then? Three passes and punt. That’s INSANE. At the most important moment in the game, Childress refused to use his most important player. I can’t think of any other coach who would be so brazenly stupid. Even Norv Turner figured out to get the ball to LT. Peterson didn’t get the ball once after the fumble. That’s just brain dead. You’ve got the best player on the field just BEGGING to make up for his one error. And you don’t take advantage?

RB: Challenging MBIII’s touchdown. What was that? Childress never looks good in these situations. It was pretty clear Barber was in; even if he was stopped 6-inches short, where is it going to get you?

BDD: Agreed.

RB: T-Jack. I thought he might get pulled at some point. He must have been on the 15-mistake leash, not the 12-mistake leash.

BDD: I think it’s time for the Vikings to start thinking about life after T-Jack. I could sit in a dunk tank against this guy for 2 hours and stay bone dry. I’m not sure he can improve into a serivceable QB at this point. If he wasn’t overthrowing receivers, he was holding onto the ball for hours on end, Culpepper-style, for no good reason. The problem is, who do you bench him for? There’s NOTHING there. Maybe Holcomb can improve, but nothing he did in his time on the field suggests much improvement. All I know is the 6 lousy completions, with only 2 going to the wideouts, is pretty much rock bottom for the passing game. This team desperately needs trick plays. Flea-flickers, reverses, halfback passes, etc. They can’t win with a traditional passing game. They stink at it. They need that Pittsburgh offense with the occasional cheap gadget play. Instead of faking an end around to Purple Jesus, just RUN the end around instead. There’s nothing keeping the defense honest.

RB: Offensive line. As much as they were good last week, they were pretty average this week. Part of that, though, is that when plays are designed to be three-step drops, the ball either needs to hit a target or be thrown away, instead of danced with and jumped around with in the pocket until a sack ensues.

BDD: I thought they were OK. T-Jack was just holding the ball too long. Now, maybe that’s a matter of the receivers failing to get open as well. I’m quite sure it’s both. All I know is that the run blocking was there.

RB: Killer instinct. They went nowhere once reaching the 30 on that key possession that ended with the big blocked field goal. That’s been an issue all season and I don’t understand it. Also, you get a gift half and are up 14-7, then you come out in the third quarter and go quick 3-and-out. [Redacted]. That’s what they are.

BDD: Part of having a killer instinct is going hard with the run game, wearing the other team down when you have the lead. And the Vikings do the exact opposite. They passed on 3rd and 3 on that opening possession of the third quarter. WHY? They can get three yards on the ground in their sleep. Why gamble with the passing game? That’s Andy Reid’s protege for you.

RB: Ryan Cook.

BDD: Yuck.

RB: Where did Sidney Rice go?

BDD: It’s impossible to know if Rice is just occasionally good or if he just needs the right person throwing him the ball. But the latter doesn’t exist, so it’s almost pointless to think about.

RB: Romo’s playing on a bum hamstring for half the game. PUT SOME PRESSURE ON THE [REDACTED].

BDD: I’m sure they tried. But the Vikings rush ends have stunk for so long, I’m pretty much accustomed to them being on the field strictly for decoration.

RB: I really, though, blame it on my wife. She actually watched a full game for the first time pretty much ever last week and it was the greatest game in several years. At 14-7 Sunday, she decides its nap time and heads for the bedroom. [Redacted].

BDD: She probably just knew Childress would make his halftime de-adjustments and screw the game up. Smart lady.

BDD Bonus observations, sent this morning after he’d had a chance to sleep on things and get even more upset: Griffin had no [redacted] business high-stepping into the end zone after nearly [redacting] up that whole sequence with his little fumble. You don’t get to celebrate after nearly [redacting] the bed like that. … I’d take Jason Garrett for head coach over Childress every day and twice on Sunday. Especially on Sunday.