And so, the least dramatic story we can remember has come to a conclusion. Will Mark McGwire make the Hall of Fame? Of course not. And it wasn’t even close. Big Mac appeared on 128 ballots — a paltry 23.5 percent, not even one third of the 75 percent needed for election. He gained three more votes that Tommy John, a very nice pitcher and an even better surgery. Cal Ripken was left off of eight ballots, which is just plain silly. Tony Gwynn was left off of 13. They are the only two who made it. Goose Gossage (71.2 percent) wins the Cooperstown Price is Right award for the closest percentage without going over. All in all, exactly what people thought would happen. If you think McGwire is being treated shabbily, we’re willing to listen to your argument. But it better be good. Because you’re wrong.

The hot rumor is the Diamondbacks are trying to re-acquire Randy Johnson from the Yankees, a move that seems pretty much backwards from anything that has happened in the past five years. This news does give us the chance to see whether “Big Unit” gets flagged by the spam blocker. And it also gives a chance to use the “question” heading that we so cherish. Just put a question mark after anything, and you’re off the hook. Hey, we never said the Yankees were going to trim payroll. We were just throwing the possibility out there. Was Otis Nixon the greatest Twins player ever? Did poor dental hygiene doom the Vikings this season? Is Kevin Garnett about ready to punch somebody? All excellent examples.

Nice work by the kids over at deadspin.com (but that’s nothing new) on finding Darryl Strawberry’s take on the relationship between Derek Jeter and A-Rod. Our favorite quote from Dar-ryl: “I remember them when they were young and they went to dinner together and did everything together.” Why do relationships have to be so hard?

One of the great things about Borat is that he has made the “not” joke acceptable once again. So here, let’s try it: Brad Radke was quite the quote machine in his playing days. (Wait for it) (Still waiting) … Not! See, hilarity has ensued. But the press conference officially announcing Radke’s retirement will be carried live today from 4-4:30 p.m. on FSN. So tune in and make your peace. 

In other words, the Twins have announced their 2007 Winter Caravan schedule. The fun starts Jan. 15 and ends Jan. 25 in various cities. Mike Redmond will be part of the “Southeast Leg,” with stops in the Twin Cities, Hastings, Albert Lea and Mankato, among several other cities. Thankfully, it should be colder along the Caravan than it is in the clubhouse.