We could have seen Ice-T and Queen Elizabeth sitting together at a Monster Truck rally last night and we wouldn’t have been more surprised than when we saw these two bands together under one roof: The Black Crowes and Oasis. The Crowes played to a packed house at First Avenue, hitting the stage at around 9:45. Oasis was across the street at Target Center, started around 9, then came over to First Ave. to catch the final 45 minutes or so of the Crowes’ set. Noel Gallagher, one of the two Brothers Oasis, and his unusually large head were about five feet in front of us, separated by a glass partition — us behind it, he and his blokes in the sound area/DJ booth. Oasis seemed to enjoy the Black Crowes’ offerings, as did we (even if the RBBH, who also enjoyed the show, declared of lead singer Chris Robinson, “If you can play the harmonica, what’s the point of dancing?” after he whipped out a harmonica late in the show after mostly ambling around during other musical interludes). Our only mild disappointment, really, was this: no “Hard to Handle,” “Remedy” or “She Talks to Angels.” Yes, those songs are 15-20 years old now, but there was plenty of other archive material played. The RBBH, however, chided us and declared the band is under no “obligation” to play those songs. We get the point, but we also feel like — and here’s where sports comes in, finally! — that not playing your hits (especially when they are really good songs) is like not running your best play or starting your best lineup. The Black Crowes certainly have an extensive enough musical catalog to fill two hours in any number of ways (including bringing Gary Louris up for a couple of songs last night), but the omission of three of their most popular songs stood out. Your thoughts?

*T-Jack will be the starter Sunday. Gus has a broken bone, according to a source, and our only real worry now is that the food chain goes T-Jack, JD Booty and X. Brad Childress said he’s not interested in bringing in a veteran at this point. The Vikings, then, will be one play away from a Booty call.

*Our sources at Blue Heron Elementary School, where T-Jack recently visited, indicate he was asked these two questions by kids in grades 3-5: “Why did you get banned from baseball?” and “Have you ever seen a real live elephant?” That settles it. Kids should be invited to every press conference.

*Last week’s court ruling has an extra benefit for the Vikings: the three Saints players who were temporarily spared suspension will be able to play tonight against Chicago.

*The Wolves, um, don’t have anyone who can guard Carmelo Anthony. Nobody healthy, at least. When a guy scores 33 points in one quarter, such statements become fact. It’s a shame, too, because the Pups looked good in the first half.

*Gophers men’s hoops. We’ve barely watched a minute yet, but that will change. Does anyone else get the feeling these lads will contend for a Big Ten title in not too long?

Fasola-link! Stadium sponsorship.

That, folks, is a Star Tribune file photo (our guy Carlos Gonzalez and a fancy lens) from the first time Marian Gaborik set skate to ice at Xcel Energy Center in 2000. Since then, he has thrilled you with goals and frustrated you by making the phrase “Gaborik’s groin” two of the least savory words when used in conjunction with one another in Minnesota sports history (though “Spergon Wynn” will always be tough to beat). As you well know, the fragile hacky-sacker is back practicing with the Wild; he would like to play on the team’s road trip, but Jacques Lemaire thinks otherwise. So cast your votes, RandBallers: During what game does Gaborik resume his 2008-09 season? And what impact does his impending return have both on the Wild and how much you care about the team?

Also, keep in mind there is a rather important professional football contest tomorrow night. Jama, this one is for you.

The Big Lead wonders if Al Del Greco, Thurman Thomas and a host of others are really qualified to vote in the Harris College Football Poll, which helps determine the BCS rankings.

*Most of you have probably seen this already, but Joe Sakic will miss three months after breaking three fingers in a snowblower accident. Hey, it’s not a woodchipper, but it might as well have been.

*Somebody wanted Mike James enough to trade for him!

*Would you pay to watch the NBA Slam Dunk contest in 3D at a theater? Sounds like you’ll have that chance.

*Visanthe Shiancoe is certainly enjoying his 15 … minutes of fame. He was on the Dan Patrick Show today.

In what is becoming something of a ritual (hey, you voted!) Clarence Swamptown is again the Commenter Of the Week. He takes a meandering path, and we sully it with a picture of Snow, the entertainer*. Clarence, you have the floor:

Last week Stu saw through my poorly executed joke using Jesse Helms as an alias, and my subsequent forgetfulness to change my name back. Stu is smart.

The anonymity of the intartube allows one to admit some things. For example, I often drive a minivan. A tan minivan. I fake the blue-collar shtick fairly well, as I wear boots and a Carhartt jacket to work every day. A minivan is practical with 3 kids, but it’s emasculating to pull up to a job site in a tan minivan. Then yesterday I got my tan minivan stuck in a snowbank. My shiancoe might as well have been locked in a submarine safeguarded by Denzel Washington. As I was under the van, hooking a tow rope to the frame, I was thinking about how much I hate snow. Nothing I do requires snow. I don’t ski, snowboard, or snowmobile. So I wrote a full COW post about how much snow sucks. Then I read Brandon’s World of B post that does a much better job covering the same subject (and uses salty language, kids). And with my recent arrest for “lewd behavior” in Brandon’s driveway, a post that so closely resembles Brandon’s would not pass for coincidence. So I scrapped everything and am starting over.

I missed most of the Vikings game on Sunday, so I can’t write about that. We piled the kids into the truck and drove to the middle of nowhere to get a tree. My wife threw in a “Country Christmas” CD to set a festive mood. The first song, seriously, was “Daddy, Please Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas (I Don’t Want to See Mama Cry).” Was that a hint? Some sort of sign? I say no.

So I guess I’ll offer a Revisionist History talker: The Vikings traded their 17th pick in the 2008 draft to the Kansas City Chiefs (and their two 3rd round picks, and switched 6th round picks) for Jared Allen. Then they signed Allen to a 6-year contract worth $72M and a $15.5M signing bonus. With the 18th pick of the 2008 draft the Baltimore Ravens selected Joe Flacco, who has looked promising over the second half of this season. The Ravens signed Flacco to a $30M, 5-year contract. Knowing what we know now, would you rather have:

A. Jared Allen — a hard to find dominating defensive end.
B. Joe Flacco – potentially a hard to find franchise quarterback (and you would have those two third round picks, and over $30M in additional cap space over the next 4 years.)

Proprietor reaction: Does Joe Flacco fake roping a calf whenever he throws a touchdown? Didn’t think so. Um, aside from that, it’s a fair point.

*Also a synonym for clown in this case.

We’ve had a lot on our minds lately, which is a good thing. Let’s empty things out:

*A keen witness (the RBBH) noted that NBC went into a commercial break during Sunday Night Football playing a few seconds of the “real” Saved by Zero. It was just the instrumental part at the beginning. And yes, in case you didn’t know, that horrible car commercial that is haunting your brain was inspired by a real song by The Fixx from the 1980s.

*If we had to guess what happened to change Ron Gardenhire’s comments on Delmon Young, it is this: the Twins are trying very much to trade him (pure speculation on our part, intrepid reporting on La Velle’s part) and someone in the front office told Gardy that casting him aside wouldn’t exactly help the Twins score a bounty in return. Again, pure speculation: Young seems like the odd man out in a crowded outfield because he still has trade value and because he doesn’t seem to fit in here.

*Man-crush alert! Stephen Curry, Davidson. Yeah, maybe we’re late to this pants party, and yeah, we watched him the past couple of years, but mercy — he has taken things to another level. Guy is averaging close to 31 points and 7 assists a game (the latter stat being more than double last year’s total), and we watched a decent part of last night’s Davidson/West Virginia game, when he dominated stretches. We’re not sure how he translates into the NBA game — he’s undersized for a two and is still working on his dribble so is therefore not a true one. The Wolves have plenty of undersized guards already, but … ESPN has him as the fifth-best prospect right now. There would be worse things than having him land here.

*CC Sabathia to the Yankees: $160 million for seven years, sayeth Buster Olney. This is one of the few times (if not the only time) we can remember the Yankees getting the best pitcher available on the market. Seriously, it seems like they have always overpaid for pitching with the wrong guys (Javier Vazquez, Carl Pavano, etc.). Is it possible they got both the best pitcher available and overpaid for the wrong guy this time? Wait and see.

*Finishing games: What allows one team, or one player, to impose a will and rise above the fray when a contest matters most? Please leave your answers in the comments and forward them to 600 First Avenue, c/o Minnesota Timberwolves (more on last night’s game from yours truly, including a detailed breakdown of observed conversations between Kevin McHale and his players, coming up next).

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