The Huntdown

Name: Atlanta’s Air Force. (Please watch the video before reading.)

Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: this video, by T. Grose & the Varsity, is entitled “Nothing Can Stop Us We’re Atlanta’s Air Force.” It’s a fight song for your 1987 Atlanta Hawks. It is, by itself, justification for the Internet. This was featured in the Deadspin waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in 2006, but I missed it at the time. In my defense, nobody in Atlanta cares about the Hawks, either. I finally ran across it in an Idolator post about the transcendently crapulent Atlanta Thrashers victory song.

Claim to Fame, Minnesota: the resolution on the video is terrible, but I’m reasonably certain that at the 3:15 mark, in the background, you can see current (for now) T-Wolves coach Randy Wittman doing the bull dance, feeling the flow, working it. At the 4:00 mark, the person I presume to be Wittman dons some choice sunglasses and drops the chorus. I believe that is Tree Rollins standing next to him. Again, the Internet is a place of fearful wonders.

Where They Are Now: T. Grose goes by Tom Grose now, and yes, he has a MySpace page. He promises “unsmooth jazz for the post-melodic generation,” which is just a long way of saying “noise,” I think.

Glorious Randomness: things I’ve noticed after watching this a dozen times, with helpful times added for your viewing pleasure:
*(Numerous spots) No one in 1987 could dance. Didn’t matter your race, creed or gender. I was there. I remember it well. I blame Huey Lewis and his so-called “News.”
*(2:26) Saxophone Guy takes a solo. Punishing. I wonder if the suit came with Limahl’s haircut, of if he had to do that himself.
*(3:02) The entirely-too-satisfied-with-himself drummer, who’s already on thin ice with me because of the hexagonal drums and suspenders, cocks his eyebrow RIGHT AT THE CAMERA. [Redacted].
*(3:03) “Spud! Spud! You’re on! Do something!”
*(3:08) Jon Koncak lip-syncs like he’s being forced to read a list of grievances and demands from his captors.
*(Numerous spots) Mike Fratello’s hair. Look at that beautiful man-perm sway in the stale Omni air.
*(3:36) Ted Turner. Remember him? He used to own, like, everything

We’re not sure which part of this video we like more: the portrayal of the Dallas fan as a front-running, patchy-neckbearded yokel or the self-mocking humor: “And no matter what happens, a Texans fan is gracious in defeat and humble in victory … or so we can only assume.” Ladies and gentlemen, your 2008 Vikings season hangs in the balance against a snakebitten franchise that has won roughly one of every three games since joining the league in 2002. Please be very afraid.

What happens when something both frightens and amuses you all at once? You share it with other people. Behold, then, this basketball fan, who really, really, really wants a free throw missed and doesn’t care what he has to do to make it happen. Seriously, someone needs to try this at a Timberwolves game. Or a Gophers men’s hoops game. Though it might not be as funny without all the other people in the seats.

In your face, Kanye West! As it turns out, our president does, indeed, care about the people of New Orle- … oh, not that hurricane. Instead, members of the 2006 Stanley Cup-winning Carolina Hurricanes will finally get to meet President Bush in a White House ceremony scheduled for 1:30 p.m. Friday. Highlights from the press release: Media members who are U.S. citizens that wish to attend will be “required to provide their date of birth and Social Security Number.” And, sadly, this is not open to the public. Otherwise it could have made a fantastic Coors Light commercial. No word yet on whether the Prez and Rod Brind’amour will drink Molson from the cup. Also, there has so far been no substance to the rumor that Bush was rooting hard for the Oilers in the cup finals. (And thanks to colleague Jay Weiner for the heads up on this story).

This has made the rounds on the Internets today, but this video confirms what we all know: The Duke men’s basketball team cannot win without cheating. Nothing like some hometown clock operation when you need it.