The Huntdown
Names: Mardye McDole, Robin Sendlein, Jarvis Redwine

Claims to Fame, Minnesota: these gentlemen were the three Minnesota Vikings draft picks in the second round of the 1981 NFL Draft. McDole was their first player taken at #39. It’s worth noting that the Bears took future Hall of Famer Mike Singletary and his eyes at #38. No big loss, as McDole would go on to average 9.7 yards per reception for his career. Unfortunately, there were only three of them. Sendlein was taken next at #45, three picks before the Raiders selected another future Hall of Famer (and star of Firestorm), Howie Long. The highlight of Sendlein’s career was being traded along with a draft pick to Miami for the draft rights to Anthony Carter, making Sendlein the most valuable of the three picks. Redwine, the most recognizable name of the bunch, was selected at #52, and would go on to a nondescript three years with the Purple.

Claims to Fame, Everywhere Else: McDole was a college standout at Mississippi State. Sendlein played college ball for Texas, as did his sons Austin and Lyle, the latter of whom is both one of us and currently plays for the Arizona Cardinals. Redwine, besides having one of the finest names in all of Christendom, was part of the unstoppable flattening machine that was Tom Osborne’s running game at Nebraska. Video proof here.

Where They Are Now: McDole teaches physical education and coaches wide receivers at Murphy High School in Mobile, Alabama. Sendlein lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, where he’s a fire fighter and metal fabricator. RandBall regulars AZGopherGirl and lattewarrior should look him up. Redwine coaches football at View Park Prep High School in Los Angeles.

Glorious Randomness: I’m trying to figure out how a Vikings defense with Keith Millard, Chris Doleman, Scott Studwell, Joey Browner, Mike Singletary and Howie Long would’ve lost the Darrin Nelson Game. I know that they would have, but I’m having a hard time imagining it. And now I’m going to cry.

Proprietor note: Sorry we haven’t posted for a while today … we were part of the live studio audience today for Twin Cities Live. True story. Naturally, it was the RandBall Better Half’s idea. We also think Stu would want us to mention that now would be a terrific time to vote for COW. Also: Carl Pavano? Whaddya think?

Well, her post clocked in at 907 words — about 600 more than are usually allotted — but we have to say the RandBall Better Half did us proud with her Commenter Of the Week post. We will say no more. Here it is, complete with that picture you all seemed to enjoy two years ago:

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First of all, I’d like to thank Stu, who nominated me as “COW” this week … and to think I wasn’t even trying! As my disclaimer, I need to reveal the full extent to which I know nothing about sports. In fact, for the first several years RandBall and I were dating when he would listen to baseball games on the radio, I would listen along, but had no idea what was happening. Everything about his favorite sport seemed to elude me. A can of corn? A one-two-three inning? He flied out? What the heck?! But when I would accompany RandBall to any of a variety of sporting events, my questions and comments became his entertainment. After a while, some of those comments ended up on the blog. I like to fancy myself something of an outsider, pointing out the folly … revealing the bizarre … and examining the logic (or lack thereof) of the all-American game.

I’ve ranked the varying positions of baseball players in order (best to worst) below. I question whether some of the positions were accurately relayed by RandBall, but alas, you’ll see my comments below.

#1 Closing Pitcher
The number one most important job on the baseball diamond is the closer. It only makes sense that they’d save the best for last, ensuring that a lead in the eighth inning will lead to a win after the ninth. Eddie Guardado was my favorite, and I’m trying to warm up to Joe Nathan, but I’ve been told you can never trust a guy with two first names.

#2 Utility Player
Hooray! I knew baseball could use a sweeper! This is exactly what I would propose for the field. As an artist of varying mediums, and someone who appreciates the Renaissance era, I love the idea of a baseball player with many skills. There should be more jack-of-all-trades guys out there giving everything they’ve got. Kudos to whomever thought up this position!!

#3 Starting Pitcher
Clearly, someone needs to start the game off pitching, and a starting pitcher make a lot of sense. This one ranks high in the logic category, which I can’t say for some of the positions later on the list.

#4 (Tie) First Baseman, Second Baseman, Third Baseman
Again, these positions rank high for reasons of logic. Who would catch and throw and/or watch the base-runners whiz by if there were no basemen?

#5 Shortstop
If they needed another base, why didn’t they just make it a baseball pentagon? Is this guy supposed to be the “sweeper” between second and third base? Perhaps he’s the backup when the second baseman gets a nosebleed … Mr. Shortstop gets his moment in the sun, catches the can-a-corn and tags the runner out. *Sigh* Poor shortstop, always dreaming of being second-baseman.

#6 Middle-Relief Pitcher
Hmmm, this seems like a made up type of pitcher. If I were to guess, I’d say that it means the starting pitcher is too tired, but that it’s too early to bring in the Closer. Either that or the team is losing too badly, and the manager doesn’t want to tire out the Closer. Sounds like you’d only need a “Middle-Relief” pitcher if the starting pitcher isn’t up to par. Is that how this works?

#7 Left-handed Specialist Pitcher
Now, I am all about equal opportunity, and those poor left-handers do not have all the perks in American society as right-handers. Take scissors, for example. Our country is entirely biased towards right-handedness. If I understand the concept behind the “Left-handed Specialist” pitcher, they themselves would almost assuredly be left-handed, and are intending to pitch against left-handed batters. If the bias did not exist towards right-handedness, we would naturally have more equal numbers of right and left-handed batters AND pitchers. I find it silly that the sport of baseball has conjured up special types of pitchers just to deal with the rarity of left-handedness. Is baseball the only arena where left-handedness is seen as a virtue and not some sinister abnormality? (Did you know that the technical term for left-handedness is “sinistral?”)

#8 (Tie) Left Fielder, Center Fielder, Right Fielder
I see the utility in needing to cover ground along the fence … however, I feel a “sweeper” (or rover, or utility player…) would more effectively use the manpower. How many games have you seen where the outfielders are standing in place, burning the same number of calories as the spectators themselves?! Here’s to fewer men in the outfield, and more sweepers!

#9 (Tie) Pinch Hitter, Pinch Runner, Designated Hitter
Like I always say, if you’re not good at baseball, then you shouldn’t be in the Major Leagues. Why would there be a necessity for a Pinch Hitter, Pinch Runner or Designated Hitter if all the players knew how to do their jobs? This is like hiring a pinch phone answerer for a secretary when the line two starts ringing, but the poor secretary is already busy with someone on line one. These are the moments when any good secretary begins to multi-task. Put the caller on line one on hold, and pick up line two. Or in ball talk, pick up the bat (put on the shoes, or book your flight ticket back to the minors) and do your job.

#10 Defensive Specialist
What? Is this some sort of tactical war zone position? I’m lost.

#11 Set-up Man
Obviously, you must be mistaken. We are talking about baseball, not con artistry.

John Hughes didn’t direct highbrow films. Most of his stuff was a deft mixture of light and heavy, funny and poignant, young and old. We don’t have a ton of things to say about his untimely death yesterday from a heart attack at the age of 59. But yesterday was, indeed, a very sad day for a lot of movie fans. His influence was probably underrated, and the fact that he died from a natural event (instead of an accident or some other such thing) is fairly startling to the people who enjoyed his films the most — an age group we would have to guess falls roughly between 28 and 52. As a morning tribute, we offer remember John Hughes the best way we know how: with a special edition of Hughes movie-only quotes. These can be movies he wrote or directed (both in some cases). They were all made within a decade of each other, which is even more remarkable Here we go:

1. Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.
2. Those aren’t pillows!
3. Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
4. You know, there’s going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll … chips, dips, chains, whips … You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing.
5. So it’s sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?
6. I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck’s dork.
7. I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great… and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn’t enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you’re strung out on bedspreads Ken. That’s serious.
8. This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone.
9. Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn … the clean, cool chill of the holiday air … a [redacted] in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.
10. His name is Blane? Oh! That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!

Up next: The RBBH’s epic COW post, followed by Stu’s Hunt Down. It’s a good Friday.

Yeah, we’re closer to high noon than the typical last post of the day time, but we’re heading out soon. We’re not entirely sure how much fresh content there will be tomorrow and Friday. Some of it will depend on Internet availability in remote areas. Some of it will depend on whimsy.

But, if all goes well, we will be playing some cards tonight. And given that, it’s only appropriate that we open up the commenting mic for your best/worst gambling stories.

Also, per Stu’s suggestion, we have given the COW to the RandBall Better Half. She is working on a post by which she intends to rank the positions and roles in baseball in terms of relative importance. Suffice to say, pinch runners will feel her wrath. Aside from that, we have no idea what to expect.

Failing any pertinent gambling stories, feel free to talk about rumors and/or how Orlando Cabrera makes Carlos Gomez want to be a better man.

Reggie Bush has spent three years in the NFL so far, and in those years he has combined for a total of more than 3,000 yards rushing and receiving. Good, right? Or no? He also has 20 combined touchdowns via air and ground. And 13 fumbles. He missed four games in 2007, six games last season and this year, well, isn’t looking so good.

We really thought Reggie Bush was going to dominate the NFL like few other players in history. What he’s done instead, we suppose, is a matter of perspective. Is he a bust? Is he merely disappointing? Or is he about what he should be if you take away expectations that could be deemed unreasonable?

And maybe — just maybe? — did we unwittingly get to the root of his problems by unearthing that photo? Has he been playing all this time in the NFL with a white arm sticking out of his head? Has to make it hard to cut.