Roadguy admits to a bit of nostalgia for the days when men were banished from all baby showers; the practice saved him untold hours of driving. But when my presence was requested at one such gathering over the weekend, I couldn’t say no – after all, how often do I get invited to deepest Eden Prairie?

Mere mention of Eden Prairie strikes fear into the heart of many motorists. The roads in the commercial part of town seem to have been drawn up by a two-year-old with a paintball gun, and I don’t think I’m the first person to describe Eden Prairie Center as having the Hotel California of parking lots – you can never leave.

Luckily, the baby shower was nowhere near the mall, and the party’s hostess (fellow blogger Amy), sent out extensive directions, including helpful bits like this:

When Hwy. 212 splits off from Hwy. 62, stay to the left. The road gracefully becomes Hwy. 5 with no additional effort needed on your part.

In other words, don’t panic just because you find yourself on a brief little unnamed stretch of freeway. Amy continued:

Stay on 5 until it separates again.

Hwy. 5, apparently, has commitment issues. But then, so does Hwy. 312:

How dire. But really, no one should get too terribly attached to Hwy. 312, because 312 is merely a temporary naming of a new freeway that, upon completion, will be renumbered as 212. (At which time, a stretch of the road currently known as 212 will be renamed something else. Eden Prairie is not for those who have trouble keeping up.)

A short distance later, I encountered a curious situation:

The drivers were behaving, but the two orange signs on either side said “LEFT 2 LANES CLOSED.” As you may have noticed, there are only two lanes total. This seemed ominous.

Fortunately, at the last minute, a brand-new lane miraculously appeared on the right:

… and I was gently guided up to Dell Road. But I wasn’t out of peril yet — a warning from Amy:

This exit to Dell is quite new. So new, in fact, that they haven’t yet posted a speed-limit sign nearby. You would think that Dell, being a divided four-lane road, would be at least 50 mph. You would be wrong. It’s actually 35 mph, but the sign is far enough down Dell that you could already get a speeding ticket before you find that out.

I drove a quarter of a mile before I encountered the first speed-limit sign – plenty of time to gain speeding-ticket momentum. But I succeeded in maintaining a modest velocity, in part so I could peek at Bearpath, the famous gated community, which was far less fortress-like than I’d imagined. (I’ve since learned that you can walk or pedal right through it on one of Hennepin County’s gravel trails — I guess would-be burglars of home entertainment systems aren’t likely to try to get away by bike.)

A few minutes later, I arrived safely at the correct subdivision and followed the hostess’ final instructions, which included a turn onto Pathfinder Drive. That’s when I realized that the people of Eden Prairie really do take their driving seriously: they’ve got a street named after an SUV.

* * * * * * * * * *

Related Roadguy tips: MnDOT’s web pages on the Hwy. 212/312 project are here and explain quite a bit. Also, if you’re heading somewhere in Eden Prairie or environs, keep in mind that online mapping services might not be up to date on 312’s westward expansion.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 22nd, 2007 at 6:10 am and is filed under Good to know, Scenes and stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.