It’s MYtunes!
Posted on July 13th, 2007 – 11:53 AMBy Roadguy
Let’s talk driving distractions.
Cell phones. CDs. Coffee. Cheeseburgers. Lipstick. Electric razors. Newspapers. Each of these things, if used while driving, will sap at least some of your attention from the road ahead. You’ll get dirty looks from other drivers if spotted talking on your phone in traffic. In some places, you’d get pulled over.
But nobody looks twice or says anything about the cute kids strapped into their seats in the back of the car.
They might be the biggest distraction of all.
Although my two daughters, 19 months and 4, have been in the car with me countless times, it wasn’t until a recent trip on some Washington County backroads that I realized how much attention they can command.
The backseat of our little hatchback is littered with toys, books and dolls, which in the past have entertained the youngsters just fine. Half the time they ignore the toys and high-five each other for 10 miles. My wife is usually there to help if something gets dropped. I can focus on the road just fine.
But now the youngest is more talkative and the oldest is more opinionated. Thus begins the struggle for music control. And that clash is hard to ignore.
On this particular roadtrip, the objects of competing interests were the Beatles’ “She Loves You,” as covered by Alvin and the Chipmunks, and “Do Ya” from local band The Owls.
The Chipmunks were on first, and the toddler quickly decided she wasn’t digging Alvin’s voice. She strianed against her shoulder straps in protest. “Turn, turn, turn,” she squealed, meaning “It’s my turn.”
When the song was over, we put on her choice. The oldest crossed her arms and huffed, looked down and pouted. After a minute or so, she started in with “It’s my turn now.”
For some reason we thought the incident might be a good lesson in sharing, so we repeated the cycle a few more times. Nerves frayed. We had meltdown. We turned off the music.
During most of the exchange I kept looking in the rearview to see what each was doing. I didn’t swerve or come close to hitting anything, but I certainly wasn’t as focused as a driver should be. I kept hearing Chipmunks in my head.
Thankfully, a couple of hot air balloons were in the sky up ahead, and tranquility prevailed.
Maybe next time we’ll bring the portable CD player. But they’d probably fight over that, too.
Guest poster Chris is a news editor at StarTribune.com and contributor to the Cribsheet blog.
18 Responses to "It’s MYtunes!"
I have found myself considerably more distracted by passengers than anything else. Don’t know why–but it seems passengers are harder to ignore than a cell phone (the cell phone stops ringing, but most passengers expect the driver’s attention and for them to participate in a conversation). I have a buddy who only buys 2-seater trucks. The reason? “I never get asked to drive a bunch of people around, and there’s only 1 person to distract me.”
I’m not a big ‘talk and drive’ person to begin with, and the less time I spend in my car means less chance of multi-tasking. As our commutes have increased, so has our tendency to multitask.
As a side note, I noticed an article in today’s Strib about the number of motorcycle deaths being the highest since 1985. Could this be because, with higher gas prices, people have been switching to motorcycles, thus meaning more motorcycles (and more new riders) on the road? Maybe I’m imaging things, but didn’t the Strib run a peice about vehicle deaths being down, despite the high-profile fatal accidents over the last few weeks? Could the two be related? Hmmm…
I think I’m a magnet for cars when I’m stopped at red lights. About 5 years ago I was rear ended at a red light. The woman who hit me didn’t notice that the light was red because she was too busy yelling at her kids in the back seat. I could see her in my rear view mirror. She wasn’t even facing forwards. If the kids are misbehaving that badly, pull over to scream at them.
I’ve also been rear ended 3 times by people who were so involved in their cell phone conversations that they didn’t see that the light was red and all the cars in front of them were stopped.
In all of these instances the light had been red for quite a while and there was a whole line of cars already stopped.
I don’t talk when I drive and it makes my wife crazy! She thinks that I am bothered by something when I am really just, well, DRIVING. Even when I have music on, I miss most of it because I am giving driving my everything.
Whenever I see a “Baby on Board” sign, it reminds me to watch out for that car even more than I normally would because they could be distracted.
I forgot to mention that as a kid (and even now) whenever we were in the car with my dad, we listened to what HE wanted to listen to. No argument from anyone.
I agree with sean, I learned to love what my dad’s choice of music was. His reason was simple, he’s driving he picks the music. When I was young i didn’t care for the music, now I love it, and will listen to it on long trips because it’s not a distraction while driving.
As for driving with kids on board. I think they should remind drivers that while driving keep your eyes on the road. If you are being distracted pull over and deal with the distraction. If your kids can’t behave in the car then you need to handle that, and don’t make it someone else’s problem by causing an accident.
Thanks for reading 
Many, many years ago when we had children–how many I can’t quite remember–we always had ‘nanny-nanna’ drive them in a separate vehicle. Perhaps that might be a solution to these exhausting modern woes.
Is this just a poor-parenting issue that kids have become such a distraction in vehicles? If little Johnny or Susie are making such a ruckus in the backseat as to increase the chances of an accident, the fact that it’s happening in the car is just a coincidence. Would these same children be raising holy hell in the restaurant and the parents try desparately to placate them? Or, in the middle of the grocery store? Love your children, yes; but teach them they are NOT the center of the universe and there are times when they need to settle down and be respectful of others, including mom or dad as they’re driving. Maybe these same children would, later as adults and young drivers themselves, be more patient, tolerant, and respectful of others as well.
Peter, do you have kids?
Yay Peter! Most parents don’t know how to parent; it’s that simple and obvious to anyone subjected to misbehaving brats in public. When kids understand who the boss is and tantrums won’t be tolerated, life becomes much easier… for EVERYBODY.
Now for my driving horror story: two lane road and what do I see but a mini-van bearing down on me head-on… on MY side of the road. Through my saucer-sized eyes I can clearly see the woman “driver” fiddle-diddling around with a kid in a car seat on the passenger side. I had to hit the shoulder to avoid meeting them in a most unpleasant way. Stupid hag didn’t even stop. The thought of pursuit and a good tongue lashing crossed my mind but in the end I settled for getting her license number and reporting it to the State Patrol, for whatever that might have been worth.
Wow. Kids today are a lot more spoiled than I was. On the two cross-country roadtrips and innumerable car trips I remember as a child, not once was the music choice ever up to me. And I never thought twice about it, really. Also never had things like DVD players and the like. We used newfangled technology like books and a deck of cards and car trip bingo to make the time pass, and I remember it being a LOT of fun. Makes me kind of sad to think of how times have changed in that regard.
D, is it necessary to have kids in order to have an opinion on the subject? My family has kids, and many of my friends and neighbors have kids. I watch some of the parents struggle to maintain control, while others seem to have mastered it. Obviously, it’s a dynamic situation and what works for one won’t work for another. But the common thing I see is, kids whose parents don’t allow them to dominate every situation are much more enjoyable to be around. And, oddly enough, those are the kids I’ve found are the most easily engaged. The others, tend to move from one situation to the next, repeating the cycle of “I’m bored, satisfy me” to “I’m having fun doing what I want, don’t make me stop.” I was at a family holiday gathering where a 5yr old was playing nonstop with some stupid little handheld video game. I watched in anguish as the mom repeatedly told the boy he’d have to finish his game as we were about to have dinner. Each time, the kid promised he was nearly done, yet kept on playing - not even making eye contact with mom. This literally went on for twenty minutes before mom had to take the game out of his hands. Of course, he started raising hell and everyone within earshot had to pay the price. All the while, I’m thinking, “What do you expect?” You give him this little battery-powered pacifier to keep him quiet and he immediately tunes out the world around him. When you then try to re-engage him into society (family), he screams like a stuck pig.
I heard on the radio today that a survey of teen drivers suggests that 46% of them admit to sending text message’s and driving at the same time. A bit scary. I have also been a target of distracted drivers. I was hit three times in a year. Once by a guy on a phone while yeilding to traffic, once by a guy while stuck behind tracffic waiting to make a left turn across taffic, he threatened me when I asked for his insurance and by a guy next to me making a left turn across the lane I was in.
Peter, I could not agree more. I seriously believe that the problem of spoiled children who are given no boundaries is an epidemic. When I see children in a restaurant, I will request to not be seated by them. Of course, they could be the 20% of children who are well-behaved, but if I play my odds then I stay as far away as possible.
One does not have to have children to have an opinion about them. That’s ridiculous. So do we have to be politicians in order to have an opinion on politics? I hate it when the first thing bad parents ask those of us who criticize is, “well, do YOU have kids?” No, but if I did, they would be well-behaved. My sister has a two year old, and his “tantrums” last less than a minute because they are consistent with boundaries and rules.
I love it when you see a kid at a store cry and whine over something for 20 minutes, so finally the parent just gives in. Teaches the kid that eventually, if I cry long enough, I WILL get what I want.
And we wonder why teenagers are spoiled and have no respect for property or other people.
Certainly, childless folks can have an opinion on children. But for me personally, that opinion is worth much less. I used to be holier-than-thou before I had kids but now I hope I’ve become much more tolerant.
Usually when I’m in the car with my two kids, my husband is with me so one of us can deal with any issues. Last weekend, however, I was driving alone with the kids on a long ride. I would simply tell the kids that whatever the problem was, it would have to wait until we stopped. I did pull off at an exit for an unplanned stop to grab something for my little one.
We don’t listen to kid’s music in the car. I might be driven mad! I sometimes play my music, talk to my kids or husband, or even just be quiet.
Childern should be no problem if you bring them up correctly.
We don’t eat in our cars, and neither did our children. Nor did we bring them up on the dumbed down childrens music. We talk in the car (but not intense discussions).
My advice is don’t start the DVD’s, nor the kids shows. AAMOF, stuff the TV in the closet till they are 14 or so. I’m not kidding, it works.
When I had the kids in the car with me, I listened to classical music almost exclusively. My rule was the driver chose the music. Since I was the driver, classical.
When the kids got into slugging matches, I ignored them. It wasn’t easy, but eventually, they realized I was not going to “rescue” them from themselves. Kids usually choose self preservation if they have options, and eventually, the fighting stopped because they tired of the pain involved with physical confrontations.
I am a parent and still can’t stand the parents who yell at their kids without taking any further action. The kids respond when they know you mean business. If give them the old line “I’m gonna stop this car if you don’t knock it off” follow thru and stop the car. It made my kids’ jaws drop once(a precious parent moment)and I didn’t even have to do anything else. They were quiet and good the rest of the way.
Teach your kids respect (hopefully by example) and it’ll take them far.
Dave G, that’s awesome. I can’t tell you how many flying elbow drops I had to endure thanks to an older brother who really was into WWF wrestling and Randy ‘Macho Man’ Savage. But you learn evasive techniques and once I grew old enough to start hitting back, he stopped. So yes, I say let the kids slug it out once in awhile. And rock on with the classical music; my dad was the same way.
