Time for more haiku/From Florida back to you/Help out my colleague
Posted on March 7th, 2008 – 8:18 AMBy Howard
My startribune.com colleague J Pinkley is going to Florida to shoot spring training video … and wants our help. Needless to say, those of us left behind can be wickedly jealous that Pinkley is getting paid to do such a thing — or we can aid her quest by providing haiku that will be used in her report from Florida.
Enamored by Section 220’s use of haiku, Pinkley wants you all to offer up your best efforts to accompany the sights and sounds of Twins baseball in Ft. Myers.
Like this:
Boof has slimmed down now/Auf Wiedersehen to flab/Make it work, Bonser.
or
Delmon Young hits well/That’s why they traded Garza/Don’t mind Carl Crawford
There is a payoff to having your haiku chosen that I can not disclose at the present time. But it will be worth it. Trust me.
We need ‘em sooner rather than later. Post ‘em today, OK?
76 Responses to "Time for more haiku/From Florida back to you/Help out my colleague"
Sunshine and real grass!
Twenty-nine arms to choose from,
But who’s this year’s ace?
“The Franchise” returns.
All eyes follow every pitch.
Will he be ready?
Who are all these guys?
So many new faces now.
I need a program!
Here’s my haiku:
The Twins win in 08
behind M & M might
the power of Young
the pitching prowess of Frisco
B’s: Baker, Boof and Blackburn
Living large on Livan
Their defense is a big key
with Cuddy, Pridie and Adam
And don’t forget Carlos
Two Mikes are a pair
to drive in more runs
for the Twins feast
The relief corps is ready
with Rincon Reyes and Guerrier
To stop the Indians
If that is not enough
there’s always Nathan to close
up tight Tigers’ mouths
The Twins all come together
with Gardy to lead them
to victory in 2008
Delmon Young hits well/That’s why they traded Garza/Don’t mind Carl Crawford
The Franchise is back/Delmon Young has all five tools/This means 90 wins!
The Franchise is back/Delmon Young has all five tools/This means 90 wins!
Fewer reporters
Who is gonna write captions?
Readers will do it!
Livan Hernandez…
Home runs will be numerous…
What is he, fifty?
Ev’rett, Lamb, Harris
A brand spanking new infield
Adieu Li’l Nicky
Centerfield questions
An unsettled rotation
Backup catcher? Great!
Franchise’s elbow
Has given us all sharp pains
‘08 redemption?
If ’91’s team
Went worst all the way to first,
Why not in 08?
loose, easy pitches-
wait for the bats to wake up-
now let’s play baseball!
Carlos’s lineup:
“Me, the catcher, other guy,
and then there’s Morneau.”
Slowey or Baker?
Pridie or Span or Gomez?
You have to love it!
Not the first robin.
The real sign that spring is here:
Every team has hope.
Bitter cold in MN
Sun (and rain) in Florida
I wish I were there
A center fielder
An opening day starter
And lots more questions
Not mine, but my favorite.
A Kevin Slowey Fastball
Mauer drops the sign
Frothing beast senses the prey
Look out, here comes lunch
Boof is thin, Livan
Is here ‘cuz someone has to
Wear the big trousers.
Hernandez struggles
Gomez can’t find “the catcher”
torii? johan? who?
The green of the grass
Sound of balls hitting bats, gloves
The best therapy.
Hartman is the leadoff man
But who will DH
Now that Tyner is absent?
H. H. Metrodome
Could it be more depressing?
Soon we will be free.
Gogomez has wheels
Recalling Cool Papa Bell
But can’t steal first base
All,
New server works well
But moderates more comments
It’s not personal
Johan Santana
Sucks! Washed up! Overrated!
Who am I kidding?
Just a few days now
Till Bert’s F’n up again
In your living room.
Lewwwww’s gone, no Tyner
Ron Dee Ell’s but a mem’ry
Gardy must be sad.
New faces grace Twins
Hope looms on the horizon
Lew is in Japan
Howard likes Haiku
Torii and Johan love cash
Chicks dig the longball
Delmon’s mighty bat
Attacking fastballs and curves?
Or nailing umpires?
Curtis Granderson
Sizemore, Swisher, C. Gomez.
Which of these don’t fit?
The crack of bat on ball
Sunshine on my face
All is right in the world
Green, green grass and sun
Baseball back again
Eight new months of joy
Hunter, Santana, sad
Young, Harris, Gomez? glad
What will this year bring
“Chasing Tiger tails”
Is the oh-eight prediction.
“Prove Them Wrong,” Twins boys
Speedy little guy
To fill a hole in Center
Gomez might be it
Mauer stays healthy
Liriano finds his groove
All Twins fans have hopes
Delmon Young threw bats
But that was before the Twins
He’s a nice guy now
Torii Hunter-less
Our team needs a new leader
Cuddy will step up
so you like the grass?
sunshine and the perfect game
two more years ’til bliss
FSN, Sunday
Dick n’ Bert back in the booth.
Hope Young makes a start.
Pridie and Gomez
Making it tough for Gardy.
This choice is win/win.
M, Y, M & C.
Sounds like a good plan to me.
I say, “Garza who?”
This isn’t haiku
But it gives me some more hope
Craig Monroe goes deep
from mlb.com:
BATTING
HR: Morneau (1, 1st inning off Buchholz, 1 on, 2 out), Monroe (1, 1st inning off Buchholz, 0 on, 2 out)
“Me, the catcher,
That other guy, then Morneau.”
Will Gardy concur?
Livan Hernandez
He’s like Silva but cheaper
A comforting thought?
First base is certain
Canadian leaves no doubt
Thank god for Morneau
Liriano, Crain
Reyes, Perkins, all healthy
Arms back from rehab
Nathan wants to forget
Looming questions of contract
He just wants to pitch
Yankees keep ARod
Tigers acquire Cabrera
BS signs Livan
Michael Cuddyer
Not exactly Wille Mays
But not bad either
Christmas in July?
Why’s Santa in the Dugout?
Oh, it’s just Gardy
7th inning stretch
That can mean only one thing
Better get a beer
Remember game 6?
The catch, the winning home run?
Kirby was the man.
Steve Lombardozzi
Came to blows with Dan Gladden
Back in ‘88
Marty Cordova
My all-time favorite Twin
“The Michelin Man”
I hope I don’t win
The rules say to bring a friend
I don’t have any
A stellar career
Will Bert make the Hall this year?
If not, will he swear?
Liriano’s back
Hope he can locate slider
Easier than cab
Who will play center?
This is Twins territory
There’s always next year
March sun fills Spring sky
Beats down on young Twins hopefuls
Instills dream of Fall
Hey y’all, we’ll take some in spanish too if anyone’s fluent.
Gomez and Mauer.
Young, Morneau, and Cuddyer…
This lineup is set.
Just mention the name
Francisco Liriano
Hope springs eternal.
Oh no Nick Punto
Bunting with the bases full
Maybe Lamb will swing
Blackburn will surprise
Hernandez will disappoint
Neither costs $12 million a year
This is Joe Mauer:
“Delicious Land ‘o Lakes milk –
Pour it on, Twins fans”
Punto had volunteered
to bat leadoff
shall I laugh or cry
No outs, bases full
Hernandez deals to Hafner…
Grand slam, upper deck
Spanish Haiku now?
Maybe French Canadian?
Tres bien, Justin!
Haiku’s Japanese
Twins don’t wade in those waters
No need for Kanji
Soft single to left
Ulger’s arm rotates wildly
‘nother rally snuffed
Justin Morneau, eh?
He’s a Canadian, eh?
Hits the ball far, eh?
Sunblock and baseball
Have you ever heard the like?
Two more years, my friends
Little Nick Punto
Joins the 40/40 club
(those are hits/webgems)
Take your grass and sun
The Dome will always win out:
Summit Beer on tap
Where the heck’s Johan?
He waived his “no-trade” and pitched
my heart a sinker
Haiku de ‘spaniol ?
Dos palabras para ti
“El Franquicio!”
Choosing a number
Big responsibility
To follow Bradke
Stay healthy, play smart
Gonna be a tough 08
My Hanky’s ready!
First 10,000 fans
Lining up for bobbleheads
But are there enough?
If Hunter came back,
could he hit Nicky again
while fighting Morneau?
Quiero poner
queso en mis zapatos
quando Nicky golpes
Sea agradable, Kleiner!
Hope springs eternal
but don’t get too damn crazy
because they might stink
lo siento, H!
I love the rhythm
of baseball’s calm, steady march
to its conclusion
We ask ‘What comes next?’
And then baseball will tell us
if we listen close.
The pall of the Dome
will be lifted, and the sun
will shine on our team
On March thirty-first
Monday’s never been so nice
For home opener
Silly teenage girls
Hold up signs, to no avail
Joe won’t go to prom
Even a Twins loss
Better than CiCi’s Pizza
Five bucks not well spent
Hmm. En espanol.
Haiku es dificil.
Muchas silabas.
Michael Cuddyer
es un gran jardinero.
Brazo de oro.
The less of the Boof The speedy C Gomez The bigger our smiles
Spoo, er….. I mean “oops”. 
The less of the Boof
The speedy C. Gomez
The bigger our smiles.
Con bueno suerte
El Boof es un lanzador
imbateable
Twins baseball has begun
Arms are locked, bats are loaded
Gardy, lead us now!
Denard Span weakly
grounds out to second. He will
not replace Torii.
Michael Cuddyer.
Justin Morneau. Joe Mauer.
Delmon Young. Then what?
Nick Punto can’t hit
Nick Punto can’t hit his weight
Nick Punto can’t hit
Joe Nathan twitches,
throws a fastball that cannot
be hit. Game over.
Feedback please, Howard.
Who won the Haiku contest?
And what’s the payoff?
To our good friend Chief
I can’t answer that question
Judge in Fort Myers
