Hi, I’m Carl Crawford…
Posted on April 17th, 2008 – 7:39 AMBy Howard
… and I want you to attend my baseball school.
I know you’ve always wanted to learn the game from a major leaguer who plays the game my way and is surrounded by teammates who are coming of age doing things, as we say in Tampa Bay, the Ray way. And because you’re in Minnesota, you’ve seen just what I’m talking about.
I’ll teach you how to make a diving, skidding catch in foul territory with a runner on third and one out in the eighth inning of a tie game. And I’ll teach you how to make it within feet of the other team’s closer, one of the best in the game, while he’s warming up for the ninth inning. In no position to make the throw home? No big deal, my friend. You’ll even get the other team’s radio guy to mutter, “Catch it! Catch it!” because even he wants you to succeed!
I’ll teach you to say things like: “I still figured it was just one run. Hopefully we could come back and score two runs. … I wasn’t worried about that run too much but I understand what I did.”
And if that’s not enough I’ll teach you to run the bases! Remember last year at the Dome? A 2-2 tie and Ben Zobrist led off with a single. Then I came to bat and hit the ball high, hard and far to right field. Remember that? I ran head down to third base, thrilled with my good fortune. Of course, Ben had stopped at third and we both ended up being tagged out. We lost that game by one run, too!
I have teammates and special guests who used to play for us (We call them x-Rays) who will teach you too. Defensive whiz B.J. Upton will show you how to ignore a cut-off man while throwing the absolute tar out of the ball so that any batter can take an extra base! Our new shortstop Jason Bartlett (Remember him, Twins fans?) will teach you how to pi$$ off your pitcher by skipping a throw on a two-out ground ball. And x-Ray Brendan (Mitt) Harris will teach you the ol’ grounder-rolled-up-my arm trick, which turns potential 1-2-3 innings into game-tying adventures.
And there’s more! Jonny Gomes, who’s been thrown out 40 percent of the time when trying to steal during his career, will teach you how to test Joe Mauer’s arm — and how to run in from right field to start a fight during an exhibition game! And my manager, Joe Maddon, will do his ever-popular seminar on “playing the percentages the Ray way,” which means pulling the lefty reliever and bringing in the right-hander to face Mauer and Justin Morneau. How can something that seems so wrong turn out so right?
Camp will end with my ever-popular seminar on throwing former teammates under the bus. I could never figure out which one was Elijah Dukes and which one was Delmon Young. So after they got traded I ripped both of their sorry behinds when I reported to spring training and they were x-Rays who were far, far away.
Part old skool, part contemporary baseball! It’s the Tampa Bay Ray way and it’s here to stay because, after all, we’re always a year or two away.
other people are here too
74 Responses to "Hi, I’m Carl Crawford…"
Sweet, Howie.
This is nice Sinker. Crawford’s comments about Young and Dukes this past spring training, clearly meant, “The clubhouse isn’t big enough for Carl and other people who might be better than me, so Carls says they gotta go.”
You’ll even get the other team’s radio guy to mutter, “Catch it! Catch it!” because even he wants you to succeed!
Seriously? That’s hilarious! I was too busy being confused by what Crawford was doing to notice if DnB had similiar sentiments.
I think they were both pretty surprised he kept with it after it was foul.
It’s one of those things that if it ends the inning it’s a great catch…but as it stands, Whoops.
T,
Listened to the Download on the way home from the Dome and you could hear Jack Morris, who was filling in for Gladden, in the background. At least I assume it was Jack and not Stew Thornley, the official scorer! Cracked me up too.
We needed a win so badly it’s hard, at this point, to bark about all the things that went wrong (again) for the Twins…instead, we can continue to second-guess what went wrong on the road trip–including why on Earth Dennis Reyes never saw action on the road trip.
Let’s finish off the Rays tonight so we can move on, finally.
I mean, after all, as we sat over the Royals dugout last Sunday and yelled and screamed about doing things the “Royal’s way” (they had two little-league errors in the game), we still couldn’t get the W….
It’s time to win some games and jump on what has been a quiet division so far…it hurts that we should easily have 3-4 more wins than we do, but picking off a couple here can put that to bed in a hurry.
Carl Crawford’s talent level maybe puts him in the top 5-10 players in the game.
his brain however is comprable to Punto’s bat.
Meaning Carl Crawford is Rainman with a baseball glove.
I begged for this guy to come here and be a Twin for 3 years. I mean LaVelle sent me an email basically telling me to quit it because it wasn’t going to happen.
After his comments this spring I was able to smell Crawford for what he is… a gifted MORON who has the talent to overcome his brain, and mouth right now, but eventually will fall like Knoblauch, Latrell Spreewell, and so many others have. You can put up with them being idiots for a while because their talent is so strong… as soon as it flickers a little he will be dumped, or some team will be saddled with a horrible contract.
I have a couple of friends who are bigtime devil RAYS fans who chastized me a little for being too hard on Crawford.
I just want to let you know I’m sending them a link to your page because you were the master today, and I but a humble (and that’s hard for me to say) student.
Excellent work!!!!
T
I was listening to the radio, and Jack Morris couldn’t figure out what the heck Crawford was doing. I don’t think Gordo knows what he’s doing so I try not to toss him into the fray too much, and if Gladden was there last night as much as I am not a fan of his he would have said the same thing that Morris did…
Anyone with a baseball IQ of 2 would know that what Crawford did was senseless….even if he was simply reacting to a ball instinctively, he has to know that once he crosses the foul line it’s over…
When I first saw it, I thought “wow, he actually thinks he’s going to throw Young out”…then when he relayed it into the infield, you knew just how dumb that move was.
Not as dumb as Gardy allowing Neshek and Crain take down two road wins with no help from Reyes or Nathan, however.
point well made Jason
I was ok with Punto starting, I actually thought Lamb should have gotten the night off. However, Tolbert needs to start from now on, Everett needs to go on DL and Buscher needs to come up and get some work on 3B.
We should all thank Bartlett and Crawford for giving us that game. After reading Aaron Gleeman’s blog yesterday regarding Livan i agree %100 with what he said and Livan might end up like Ramon Ortiz last year.
Close, Ben D. I agree that I thought Lamb should have got the night off as well, and I had Punto penciled in. But I actually like Lamb. He has some pop in his bat, which he showed with his single off the wall in Detroit. But you’re absolutely right, Tolbert should be our starting shortstop and #2 hitter. Move Cuddy to the 5 spot and Young to the 6 spot. I’m tired of watching Young swing at pitches in the dirt and/or pop an inside fastball up to second base. I really like him, but he needs some work in the cage….
For the few who are saying Reyes should have been used on the road trip, there probably are as many that would have second-guessed using him. The Tigers have so many RH hitters, it is pretty tough to get him in there where he has a good chance to succeed.
I like Reyes because he gets a lot of ground balls. Right now, he might be the best option to pitch the eighth, however that would leave zero lefties in the ‘pen to face a single batter earlier in the game.
I have to admit I will NEVER be ok with Punto or Span starting as long as the Twins have other players on the major or minor league roster.
I look at Punto as one of the best 25th men in baseball.
I look at Denard Span as the 834 guy on a 40 man roster.
funny, I had the Shwans guy, my postal lady, the guy who delivers pizza, and two nuns that walk by my house staring at the Barak Obama sign all ahead of Denard Span on my list.
We needed a win so badly it’s hard, at this point, to bark about all the things that went wrong (again) for the Twins…instead
I think the big positive out of this win is that the Twins bullpen was able to recover from it’s last two outings…that and the offense put 6 on the board (though they did have to capitalize on a few mistakes)
But I guess that’s another thing to be happy for. How many times last season did the Twins fail to make the most of an error. Here they scored three runs on blunders. And in Detroit they capitalized on Pudge’s dropped pop-up.
Howard
Great post. Any room in that camp for Punto to teach how to bunt. Or how about Delmon talking about respecting umpires? You could have Rocco Baldelli discuss playing everyday while your at it as well.
BC,
“I have to admit I will NEVER be ok with Punto or Span starting”
Do you not believe in the concept of improvement? If you think Span’s hitting approach and swing is not 100% improved over last year, then you are just being too stubborn to admit what your eyes are telling you.
Or you are actually blind, in which case you should be commended for your writing skills.
haha I love that you switched the links for DY and Dukes in the last paragraph.
Maybe Carl Crawford can have a singing career. I’d love to hear him do a rendition of Britney Spears “Oops I Did it Again”
or maybe he and Britney could do a duet of that song
jama,
Well, Delmon won’t appear at Camp Carl for obvious reasons and Punto won’t appear out of loyalty to his new teammate.
I’m laying off Baldelli because his disability, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, is an unfortunate and misunderstood thing. I do hope Carl will take him on as the camp administrator, though.
Ben,
Excellent eye!
BC,
Your Rainman line made me spit Sunkist.
I was so anxouis to see mighty D. Young hit his first HR last night i was salivating. I’m going to make a call and say that he gets his first tonight.
That has to be the funniest thing I have read all year!
Please BC….let’s not encourage “calls”….enjoyed Scott Erickson and Lisa Guerrero on the telecast last night…Dick and Bert were actually professional about it (No references to Erickson by Dick as “one of the greatest pitchers of all-time” as he said about Aguileria a couple years ago…)
Erickson seems like a really cool dude.
Howard–you should’ve included BJ Upton’s airmail throw home as part of Ray’s Way camp…that was in the same ballpark of stupidity as Crawford’s move.
Jason it will be my only call this year i promise (fingers crossed). I always liked Scott Erickson but when Bert referred to him as a Twins great i had to laugh.
Jason,
“Defensive whiz B.J. Upton will show you how to ignore a cut-off man while throwing the absolute tar out of the ball so that any batter can take an extra base!”
Howard covered everything.
BC–I’d call him a Twins great (even though his career here was short)…the guys was an integral part of the 91 World Championship team (20-8 record) and he pitched a no-hitter at the Metrodome three years later…I’d say “Twins great” is fair…
I would also say Rick Aguleira is a “Twins great”….I just wouldn’t introduce him as “one of the greatest closers of all-time” as Dick Bremer did a couple years ago…
good catch sid (ironic that ’sid’ would be the one to catch an error), I skimmed through his stuff and Upton’s name wasn’t highlighted…still, it was just as dumb (although not on the same level because the game wasn’t in the balance the same way)…
Jason,
None of us “Sids” can catch OUR OWN errors.
Bartlett’s throw wasn’t very good, but Pena should have had that, easily.
Bartlett’s type of throw put Everett in an MRI machine.
“Everett needs to go on DL and Buscher needs to come up and get some work on 3B.”
~Ben D
I agree. Buscher is tearing AAA up from what I hear. And its kinda funny, in my MLB game, I just got an email from managment that Lamb was considering retirement after this season.
Duh dun duh! Is this forshadowing?
This post was right on, Howard.
I was dumbfounded when I heard Crawford’s comments about the play, saying he “wasn’t concerned” about the one run. I think it just goes to show how clueless he is. There is something to say for organizational culture allowing that type of (lack of) thinking to persist, but at some point a veteran player like Crawford has to have some instincts.
I think it’s important to point out how Crawford is the poster boy for the difference between fantasy sports and the game played between the white lines.
Here is a guy who has multiple AL stolen base titles and has hit over .300 each of the past three years - a fantasy stud. The play last year and the one last night just go to show that baseball media members are not totally off base when they talk about guys like Pudge Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, Chone Figgans and Kevin Youkilis as ‘winning’ players.
There’s a good reason why a pure talent like Crawford is wasting away in the catacombs of Tropicana Field.
“CRAWFUL! CRAWFUL!” Hahaha. LF HR porch fans, myself included, were all over Crawford from the first pitch of the game, all the way to the end when Nathan stunned him with a backwards-K. We need more fans dedicated to taunting the other teams’ left fielders. Heck, he may have been trying to show off to us fans in left when he made that catch. But then soon realized, his pride cost him the game…. At least that’s what I’d like to think.
It all feels like karma to me that Delmon was the one who tagged up and plated the go-ahead run on Crawford’s blunder.
Another note: Bartlett’s throw probably should have been picked by Pena, but that’s the exact sort of inconsistent defense that had him in and out of Gardy’s doghouse for most of his stint w/ the Twins.
We make fun of Upton’s arm, but Gomez wasn’t much better last night as he falls over everytime he throws home. Morneau made a good play, otherwise one of his rockets would’ve ended up in the dugout.
The (presumably unintended) irony of this piece is that Carl Crawford would be, at worst, the Twins’ 3rd best position player were he on the team. We can only dream that Carlos Gomez becomes as good as Carl Crawford.
The arrogance here–the unstated but obvious insistence that somehow there is moral superiority in the way the Twins do things–since the Twins would never catch that ball or make a base running mistake–is silly.
This isn’t funny, it’s meanspirited and, more, it’s nonsensical. Frankly, I find the post to be somewhat embarrassing.
Jason i respectfully disagree Erickson had one great year and one average year it just so happened that the best year of his career was in 91 a key player but not a great Twins player.
Love the informercial feel to Howard’s piece. Even the ball has a made in China label on it. Fantastic! Would love to have an audio link here about that part of the game when Morris (or whoever it was) was saying “catch it.” Priceless!
Leaves a Taser next to the coffee maker to help lighten up Eric in Madison’s mood.
HAHAHAHAHA!i love it!that made my day..very clever
Too much was made of Crawford’s mistaken catch. With 1 out and a runner at 3rd, the runner would have probably scored any way.
methinks that Crawford should get a standing ovation at every AB in the dome tonight…
great piece, Howard.
Eric in Madison:
I beg to disagree. Teams like the Rays have never fostered a ‘culture of winning.’ The same can be said for teams like Pittsburgh and the pre-Leyland Tigers:
Crawford didn’t think twice about making the catch. Carlos Pena was swinging for the fences all last season in total disregard for the outcome of the game (I was at a game in Baltimore where the then-Devil Rays trailed by a touchdown or so. Pena flew out to the warning track and spiked his helmet as if the winning run had been standing in scoring position. See his sub-.200 average this year and league-leading 6 HR). The Rays simply chase talent and don’t foster an environment that stresses the ‘little things’ that make a difference in a baseball game.
This is one of the reasons that the Royals hired Trey Hillman this season - one who refuses to believe that KC can’t compete and rejects their status as a perennial bottom feeder.
If, indeed, Carlos Gomez becomes Crawford’s equal in the talent category, he’ll be twice the player because of the Twins’ emphasis on teaching what is and what is not acceptable.
I thought Howard’s piece did an excellent job of illustrating Crawford’s ‘baseball character.’ I don’t think it is presumptive to assume that the Twins get as much out of their players as any organization in baseball.
GVH:
Even if there’s an 80% chance the run scores anyway (I’m certain the Twins’ ability to get the runner in from third w/ less than two outs is far less than that), there is a 100% chance the runner scores if he makes the catch.
There’s not much to debate there.
baseball truely is a thinking mans sport you have to be aware of the exact situation on evert PITCH because it is a very intregal game and Crawford is a dolt. Sorry Carl I wish I had your abilities…..if I did i would pay attention.
Wyatt you mean post Leyland Pirates
No I think he means the current Pirates. Leyland was the last guy to get the Pirates to win.
Carlos Pena has won many games this year and last year with his home runs. Pena had an OPS 1.038 last year, compare that with Morneau’s MVP OPS of 0.934. To blame Crawford and Pena for the Rays past losses is delusional.
To solely blame maybe, but they definitely share the blame.
Hence Delmon’s excitement to get the rock outta there.
They share the blame with 23 less talented teammates and the Yanks, the Sox, the Jays, and the Orioles (not so much) being in their division.
I couldn’t believe it when I saw the replay. So I watched it again..Not only on the sliding catch…but Crawford fired the ball…TO SECOND BASE!!
He didn’t even concern himself with the lead runner…sheesh…
I like this, it’s very funny and true but why sink so slow as to make fun of present Twin Brendan Harris…
I think it is very funny that people in Minnesota think they know everything about the Rays’ situation. To suggest that Crawford bad mouthed Young and Dukes because he couldn’t take the competition is delusional. If you knew anything about Crawford you would know that he never bad mouthed a teammate in his life before Young and Dukes showed up. That should tell you something about just how big of a distraction they were. It’s easy for Twins fans to make Crawford into some kind of villain for saying what he said about Young because so far Young has been a good citizen in the Twins clubhouse. If he was acting the way he did in the Rays clubhouse you would be bad mouthing him too.
As for the article, I think it is pretty small of someone to go to this length to pick on another team’s player. Did Crawford make a boneheaded play? Sure he did. But he’s also a very good player who helps win games a lot more often than he helps lose them.
I would expect these kinds of comments from Yankee or Red Sox fans, but I guess I was wrong to expect Twins fans to be any better. Make fun of the “Ray Way” all you want, but this team is doing the best they can to try to change a culture of losing. Why knock them for that? I guess it’s hard to see things from the Rays’ perspective while you’re up on that high horse of yours.
Howard is tall enough the way it is. No reason to climb up on a horse to look down on a guy who lost a game through sheer stupidity.
Tony,
I guess the perspective is that Crawford is an ultra talented idiot. He single handedly lost the game last night, or where you watching?
Tim,
If you think one play single-handedly cost the game, then you are the idiot.
Many pitchers, hitters and fielders failed before and after that play.
ok… carl made a bad play. but can any of the haters on here make the plays he does or does make correctly… and at least if he’s a jackass he gets paid for it….and u losers get paid how much to look like a jackass???? Sy makes alot of since a player cant lose a game alone!
I guess I would be bitter too if I lost Kevin Garnett, David Ortiz, Johann Santana, Randy Moss, and eventually, the entire Minnesota Vikings franchise to Los Angeles.. Enjoy 10 months of snow, losers!
But you know Mike, they did get Herschel Walker.
I’m confused. Should MN fans and writers only write about and talk about MN teams? Why? We are baseball fans, not just Twins fans.
Howard mocks the Twins, he mocks other teams, he’s trying to lighten up the mood a little with a new style to his blog. It is pretty refreshing to read something that is different in style and tone.
If you really think Howard is bitter about things like this, you probably don’t know him all that well. He strikes me as a pretty level headed guy, frankly. Of course, I’ve never met the guy, so I could be wrong.
I thought it was funny. Just like I thought it was funny the times when he mocked the Twins. Some people need to just relax, take a deep breath, and remember this is entertainment, not life and death.
mike,
I’m just about the mellowest guy I know. You know, I barely flinched when Crawford got picked off first last night by Guerrier. Thanks!
RaysMike,
Twins fans may be bitter, but at least they care.
The Twins draw more than the usual 4,000 fans who attend Rays games.
Mafia funerals out-draw Rays games.
hmm, too bad,I was looking forward to the Denard Span school of fielding today.
At least CC caught the ball!
Sane, if there is one area I would not be bragging on it’s attendance. I watched both games and there were PLENTY of good seats available if you know what I mean.
Tony,
The empty seats at the games you saw were because the Rays were in town.
Any seats filled at the Rays home games are by Yankee and Sox fans who travel or have retired to Florida.
Tony,
I actually don’t want to pile on the Rays.
But, as long as Rays Mike is going to call us “losers”, I had to land a few shots.
I actually read somewhere recently that Crawford is known as a pretty smart ballplayer. Maybe it’s the extra air pressure in the dome that turns off his brain when he comes to the Metrodome.
but can any of the haters on here make the plays he does or does make correctly…
I don’t have to be a musician to know what sounds good.
Nor do I have to be a producer to know what makes a good movie.
I also don’t have to be a politician to vote for our nation’s president.
Likewise, I don’t have to play baseball to know a stupid play when I see one.
I guess I would be bitter too if I lost Kevin Garnett, David Ortiz, Johann Santana, Randy Moss…
Yeah, I’d much rather be in Tampa Bay, where they have such star as…
Well…uh…hold on. I think Canseco played there for a year right? And there was that McGriff guy who almost got 500 homeruns. That was right nice of the Rays to let him play out his days at Tropicana.
Oh right. That’s why Tampa Bay never lets their legends go. They don’t have any.
How can anyone from Minnesota bash someone else. Go back to your igloo and ice fish. STOP MOVING TO FLORIDA.
BC says Gordo doesn’t know what he’s doing?? 
This stuns me …
He would fit right on with the Rays.
