The baseball diaries

Posted on May 11th, 2008 – 11:34 PM
By Howard

After the Twins left the Metrodome last night, and the Boston fans in town were away doing whatever Boston fans do after road games, someone forgot to lock the little closet where the Twins players keep their diaries. In the giddy minutes after the Twins finished off that 9-8 thriller against the Red Sox, many of the players retreated to the writing room in the back of the clubhouse and scribbled away. Except for Neshek, who juggled his Palm-162-Relief-Pilot and its stylus with his one good arm.

Here’s some of what they wrote:

Nick Blackburn: Dear Diary: Can you believe it? The guys gave me another five-run lead tonight and this time I did a little bit better. Yes, it was still too scary: 5-0 became 5-1 and 7-1 became 7-4 and then it was 8-4 when I left. But this time I didn’t throw the same pitch to the same location over and over again. I tried to be just as aggressive as I was at the start and, once we had the lead, I really tried to work inside. I kneecapped that little elf Ellsbury and on the next pitch I got Dustin Pedroia in the arm. But you know what? It felt pretty cool. I hope Mr. Gardenhire and Coach Anderson (I don’t feel comfortable calling them “Gardy” and “Andy” yet, even when nobody else sees it) are a little bit happier with me because I don’t want to be a guy who only gets 1 or 2 runs from the offense. You know, like I read about with Mr. Santana and Mr. Silva last year. It was a good night, and I know that one of these days I’ll win games without any drama. I owe the guys that.

Adam Everett: Dear Diary, I hit a home run tonight. It was so cool, even if it only landed about 7 inches on the other side of the wall in left and nobody really knew what happened at first. Did you know I have more home runs than Joe Mauer and Delmon Young combined? Sweeeeeeet.

Craig Monroe: Dear Diary, Some of the bloggers in this town think the Twins wasted money when they signed me and they write it over and over and over (and over), kind of like the way some of their blog commenters treat my little wind-up pal Nick Punto. Well, I hope the two home runs tonight — with a pink bat, no less — get them to reconsider. I’m really liking it here in Minnesota, and there was a cool story in the newspaper this morning about me and my mom Marilyn. I know she’s going to be proud of me and do that thing tomorrow where she watches SportsCenter over and over and over (and over). I feel a little bad for my teammate Jason Kubel because Gardy was talking about giving him a shot at being the everyday DH. But not THAT bad. (I wonder if I can keep using the pink bat.)

Pat Neshek: Der dairy, Thisinjry thg makkes it hd 2 type. I hope Ican still bloooog whil inrehab. Ithnk Ineeeddaburger.

Joe Mauer: Dear Diary, Mom and Grandma were on the field before the game and I got to give them each a rose. That was really neat. And then I got a single and a walk. I’m feeling really good at the plate and feel like the days of being Mr. 4-3 are fading into the distance. But you know what the best thing was tonight? Not that I entered the game second in hitting in the league. No, not that. I learned that when I’m in my crouch behind the plate, I’m just as tall as Pedroia.

Joe Nathan: Dear Diary, I know I gave up two runs tonight, but Manny Ramirez never had a flippin’ chance.

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