If you were Boof Bonser last night, you would have been pitching in front of an audience that included two pitchers who may end up in the Hall of Fame. They didn’t get there by being clueless. On the radio, Jack Morris said that it looked like Boof was pitching without any kind of game plan. On TV, Bert Blyleven said he was surprised Boof gave Matt Stairs, d/b/a as “The Professional Hitter,” an inside fastball with the bases loaded in the first inning — the one that grand slammed Toronto into a 4-0 lead.

If you were Brian Runge, the home plate umpire, you probably didn’t want to watch a replay of the game. Something happened to your strike zone in the final couple of innings. Maybe you failed anatomy class because of a tendency to confuse knees with ankles, or something like that. Maybe there’s too much pressure sometimes being a third-generation umpire. And one more thing, Brian. Whatever the reason for your gesture at Joe Nathan in the ninth inning, you were the one who looked awfully silly. You didn’t cost the Twins the game, but just sayin’.

If you were Jesse Crain, you boogered up a played that a Pony Leaguer makes. You had Scott Rolen picked off second and running toward third — and you threw the ball from the mound into the bullpen so he could score. Dumb, dumber, dumbest. Here’s the deal, Jesse, and I shouldn’t have to tell you this: You run at the baserunner and then throw to the third baseman, who applies the tag and gets you out of the inning. In a 6-5 loss, that kind of made a difference.

If you were Delmon Young, you found yet another way to make a fundamental mistake. This time, you went too far around first on a single — and then got tagged out by the catcher, who followed you toward first base as catchers sometimes do when they suspect they have a sucker. Missed cutoff men, misjudged fly balls, messed-up swings. Slow down, Delmon.

If you were Alexi Casilla, you still looked overmatched at the plate and a bit too nonchalant in the field. You have quite an arm, though.

If you were Matt Tolbert, you left the park after going 2-for-5 and wondering if — just maybe — you were any closer to getting a regular run at playing second base while Brendan Harris takes over as a three-position reserve.

If you were me, you saw Toronto’s manager, John Gibbons, walk to the mound and realized that you called him John Stearns in yesterday’s post. You felt stupid.

You have a day game today. Make plans to avoid work.

other people are here too

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 15th, 2008 at 7:10 am and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.