To: The Vikings — Thanks for folding Sunday. It’s taking some of the attention away from the way the Twins played Sunday afternoon, and the fact that they ended the night 1 1/2 games behind the White Sox. You guys are to touchdowns what the Twins are to home runs.

To: Nick Punto — Incredible, dude. I had your back last week using statistics, which isn’t typically the way that you come out looking good. Then, on Sunday, you go out and make two base-running mistakes that were straight outta Little League. You looking to be the bad seed in the “Doing the Little Things Right” video series? If you’re in the lineup tonight, I’m gonna believe the Gardy’s love child rumors. In the meantime, I hope the stats-only people use this as a lesson about the value of intangibles, and that everyone understands intangibles cut both ways.

To: Nick Blackburn — What was that Sunday, a Carlos Silva imitation from that 2006 start in Baltimore? You have two more regular season starts left, if I’m reading the schedule right. You’re better than that.

To: Scott Baker — You against Cliff Lee (22-2) on Wednesday with three days’ rest. Good luck, pal. I’m glad that Gardy has decided not to offer up a No. 6 starter as a sacrifice for this one. The Twins are the only AL team that’s beaten Lee this year. Do it again, OK? Your teammates owe you for that 1-0 loss to CC at Cleveland earlier this season.

To: Michael Phelps — I don’t like to veer from baseball too much here in Section 220, but you weren’t very good hosting SNL. Stick to swimming, please.

To: Torii Hunter — I know you’ve taken a lot of snark from around here this season, but I was listening to Denard Span on XM the other day and he talked about how much you helped him understand what it takes to be a big leaguer. It wasn’t one of those cliche-filled responses and he sounded really grateful for what you did. Now, can you spend some time this winter with the current center fielder? Good luck in the postseason, except against the Twins.

To: Johan — On Saturday, you were taken out for the seventh time with a lead that your team gave up. I don’t know who the guy was on the Orioles broadcast, but when the subject came up, he suggested that if you really wanna be a stud, you pitch a little deeper into games.

To: Glen Perkins — How big a lead do you need?

To: The Field Naming Committee — Target Field? Well, at least I’m confident we won’t be faced with an “Enron Field” situation like they had in Houston. Someone said they intercepted these as they were being taken to the neighboring garbage burner: Puckett Pavilion… The Legacy at Pohlad Park… Sales Tax Stadium… Garbage Burner Field…  Sid-y-corp Stadium.

What have I left out?

This entry was posted on Monday, September 15th, 2008 at 9:09 am and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.