The absolute all-time worst Twins?

Posted on July 10th, 2009 – 7:26 AM
By Howard

(Howard’s Note: Today’s guest poster is law student Josh Borken, who took a break from studying for the bar exam to come up with a list that’s open for debate and revision — the worst players to wear Twins colors during the Metrodome years. If you need to see the numbers of some of these baseball miscreants, go to baseball-reference.com. I decided against linking to each of these guys because it could do bad things to your computer. I hope this’ll keep you from dwelling too much on the Yankees series. Have a good weekend — and, again, thanks to the guest posters who are keeping things going through the All-Star break.)

As you know, the Twins are running a promotion to select the all-time best
Metrodome team — another way to honor Santana, Puckett and some of the others who have played for them since 1982.

I found it a lot easier, and a lot more enjoyable, to come
up with an all-time worst Metrodome team. Every position is subject to
debate, except Dave Stevens as the closer.

1B — Scott Stahoviak. He was seriously compared to Kent Hrbek in a preseason preview in this newspaper. Not quite.

2B — Brent Gates. Gator Gates. Rivas had 1 good year. Gates didn’t.

3B — Dave Hollins.  A jerk. Sulked his way into a trade netting David Ortiz,
who never amounted to anything.

SS — Jason Maxwell. The toughest selection to come up with for this team. He
gets the nod over Juan Castro based on team record.

LF — Butch Huskey. He didn’t see the wall while chasing a home run that landed
at least 6 rows back. It was turn ahead the clock night. A bad display of
judgment that occurred while wearing a silver Twins jersey. The chalk
outline on the wall the next day has to be the most bittersweet Dome moment
ever.

CF — Alex Cole. Alex Cole never showed any emotion, mainly because he always wore sunglasses.

RF — Rich Becker. Remember when he was a single shy of the cycle and had 2 chances to get it? The worst defender on this team.

Bench — Michael Restovich. But he has so much potential.

C (the year of 5: 2000) — Danny Ardois, Chad Moeller, Matthew LeCroy, Marcus Jensen. Rather than go through each one of these guys separately, it’s enough to say that if you don’t remember the year 2000 as the year of 5 catchers (A.J. Pierzynski being the fifth, and exempt from this list), then
you never experienced true agony.

Rotation: 

Dan Serafini. I saw his first start, and it was abysmal. A sentimental #1

Frankie Rodriguez. He pitched way too long for this team.

Scott Aldred. The worst part was how much money he got paid.

Adam Johnson. Not a very large sample size to draw from, but the combination
of high draft pick and never amounting to anything gets him the nod.

Sean Bergman. Nobody remembers Sean Bergman. There’s a reason.

Bullpen

Bob Wells. A set-up guy who just made things worse.

Hector Carrasco. I used to always stress a certain syllable from his name
whenever he entered.

Scott Klingenbeck. More terrible as a reliever than a starter.

Seth Gresinger. Bad numbers plus longevity.

Willie Eyre. The worst of the garbage men.

Ramon Ortiz. A tough call, but he had more relief appearances then starts. A
rare bad player on a good Twins team.

Closer

Dave Stevens He blew 5 saves in 16 chances. I’ll never forget the
game when he blew a save, got pulled, went into the dugout, and punched a
phone with his pitching hand. Had he never watched Bull Durham?

Can you top those — or add to the bench?

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