One of my guilty pleasures is reading the comments on Joe C.’s and LaVelle’s blogs in the minutes after they post the lineups, a daily service you’d be hard pressed to find in most other cities where the beat writers blog about their teams. Before Thursday’s game, a lot of people wrote like they wondered why the game was even being played because there was no way in Hades that the Twins could win with the lineup Gardy had chosen.

It can be like reading review snippets from movie ads.

“Talk about a B-minus squad lineup… Harris isn’t a No. 2 hitter (3 for 4)… Cuddyer isn’t a clean-up hitter (home run and goofy triple)… Brian Buscher  as a DH against a lefty (home run, and walk) … Don’t know what Gardy is thinking here. Quite possibly he doesn’t either! (Zach Duke, .379 BA by lefty batters)… (Ayala is) just another example of how stupid our GM is in signing free agents! (Yeah, the Crede signing was totally stupid.)… How the bleep can you bench a .425 hitter? (He was sick)… This lineup is an absolute J-O-K-E! (Blogger looks twice for Jason Tyner and Tony Batista on the lineup card)… Never sit Mauer (Trying to pretend I didn’t read that)… What about the possible trade of Jesse Crain? (For whom? Juan Rincon? Luis Ayala? Oops, we already have him!)… Pennants are won and lost in this kind of game (Oh, the drama!) … Hey, at least the game isn’t televised! (Good one!)… It’s like Gardy wants us to lose. (Who is this “us” of which you write?)… Sure glad I didn’t make the trip from 2 hours north. Yuck. (Sorry, I had to eat your nachos.)… Why go to the Twins day games? (Because they’re often played during work hours).

Postgame jewels: “In other news, Nick Punto’s batting average is now (almost) within 200 points of Joe Mauer’s average. “ (Nice! See what an infield single and a fly-ball double can do for a guy! BTW, the gap is 207 points.) “Finally… we’ve found a solution for the bullpen issues. Don’t use it! Nice job Mr. Blackburn!” (A-to-the-MEN!)

Seriously, though, there’s a lot of funny (and intelligent) banter in the comments and LaVelle, Joe and I are appreciative that people read and react to the blogs, even if you disagree with us and sometimes call us out in less-than-gentle ways. I was just struck by all the gloom and doom that was put forth.

I can even come up with reasons for the moves that Gardy made yesterday. Mauer’s been sick since the weekend series against the Cubs — even the Chicago-centric Cubs announcers pointed that out — and this was a good time to chance using the other lefties. (Is anyone else amused by people sitting at keyboards calling out Joe Mauer?) Gardy wanted to test what seems to be a problem for Zach Duke this season, a problem in the same way that Scott Baker was hit with an attack of homerunitis in his early starts that was extreme compared to his career numbers. Sure, they’re small sample sizes, but baseball is a game of streaks.

Also, for all the talk of a B-lineup (which it was), Gardy kept the A-team infield intact, which made sense because Nick Blackburn is the only ground ball pitcher in the rotation. He got 17 outs on grounders and another on a slick diving-toward-shortstop line-drive snag by Joe Crede in the ninth. This wasn’t a day to entrust first base to Cuddyer (No day should be, actually) or third base to Buscher. Gardy also FINALLY dropped Crede (sixth) below Cuddyer (fourth) in the batting order against a lefty. (Crede’s last 31 homers have come against rightieslefties and he has a slugging percentage of .350 against lefties in 2009, which is almost as good as Carlos Gomez’ .364.)

Cuddyer, whom I’ve read really stinks and is a slacker taking a spot from more deserving players, was 6 for 10 in the Pittsburgh series and is at .277/.358/.513 for the season. His slugging percentage is fourth behind the lefty trio. Someone explain to me again why that’s not good enough.

I don’t think the Breslow impersonator that Milwaukee sent to the mound was trying to hit Joe Mauer in the seventh. Load the bases for Justin Morneau in a one-run game? Not likely. I’m a little less sure about Dave Bush hitting Joe Crede, though, given the bases were empty with one out at the time and the less threatening types who followed Crede in the batting order. Still Bush leads the major leagues with nine hit batters this year — and pitching inside is something Bush needs to do because he isn’t exactly going to overpower anyone. You can make a good argument that he threw a pitch that got more up and more in that he intended, an argument I’ll be willing to buy if Crede is 100 percent soon. (The entire Twins pitching staff has hit only 11 batters this season.)

Whatever the case, I don’t feel bad right now if some of the Milwaukee batters will be wondering about Twins pitchers coming inside when the teams meet again next month.

Also, I don’t know how the argument played out when Mauer was awarded base after he got hit in the seventh. But Gardy did a pretty good job with the cap-off, cap-on thing and, watching this replay this morning, it sure looked like Mauer was headed back to the batter’s box until Gardy yelled his piece above the din of the 38,000 at the Dome.

His better performance, though, was something you had to be sitting on the first-base side of the Dome to see. It came when the game was delayed by a moron who ran onto the field and got about 10 feet before being tackled between the Twins bullpen and the left-field corner. (On TV, you were watching a mattress commercial while much of this played out.) Because those bozos usually make it to the middle of the outfield or further before being captured, they usually get walked quietly to the truck entrance in the right field corner before being shipped to Gitmo.

This guy, however, was walked past the Twins bullpen, the third-base box seats and the dugout before being taken up to the stairs that lead to from dugout to clubhouse. It was a great perp walk — and got even better when Gardy got off his chair in the corner of the dugout and shouted at the guy as he walked by. I want to know what he said to that guy almost as much as I want to know what he said to Adrian Johnson, the home plate umpire, on the Mauer deal.

After the Mauer dust-up, I told Ms. Baseball that it would be kind of cool if Morneau hit a grand slam because then, maybe, the Twins would have a big enough lead that after a few more outs, Baker could leave stitch marks on some Brewer butt. It wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever said.

In reality, though, the grand slam is the best revenge — and the uncertainty about whether the Twins will knock down a Brewer or three when the teams play next month is more effective than actually nailing one of them. The Twins didn’t need to pick another fight after Morneau’s knockout.

Lefties had gotten only two hits in 25 at-bats off Mitch Stetter before Morneau’s blast.

The only other thing I’m wondering last night if whether — after nailing Corey Hart on three dirt-diving sliders to end the game — Joe Nathan looked toward Hart and made like he does in that Target Field ad when he strikes out Mauer while they’re playing MLB09.

If you’ve seen it,  you know the line.

Have a great holiday.

If the Twins were managed by Tennessee women’s basketball coaching legend Pat Summitt, it would have been a night when they would have been told to take home their own darn uniforms and wash out the stench. With Bobby Knight in charge, the Twins would come to the ballpark today and find jerseys with “NEW BRITAIN” across the front in their lockers. If Jerry Jones owned them, he’d be trying to sign Barry Bonds today. Gene Mauch would have launched the postgame clubhouse buffet in a half-dozen different directions.

That cooler heads are generally better heads for owning and operating a baseball team is a good thing. Still, Monday’s game marked a season low on so many fronts. It’s not like you can look at one performance and say, “That cost the game.”

*Scott Baker provided a primer in the difference between scattering six hits over six innings and bunching  them in two of the six that he pitched. The good news was that everything stayed in the park, I guess.

*Jose Morales was charged with two passed balls, including one on a pitchout. It made Sunday’s 4-for-4 seem like four weeks ago.

*Justin Morneau and Jason Kubel turned the consecutive strikeout routine again with one out and runners on base. The score was only 2-0 Rays at the time.

*Nick Punto was swinging from his booty for much of the night. A quick reminder: When Morneau does that, the ball can go 425 feet or more. When Punto does it, it can go 325 or less.

*Juan Morillo again reminded us what happens when you throw a 95 mph fastball without movement to a major league batter. In this case, Jason Bartlett took him deep for the final run.

*There are reportedly 3,496 people in the United States  named Joe Nelson. Unfortunately, the Twins faced the one who’s a soft-throwing right-hander and was able to retire four left-handed batters at the top of the order when the game was still rallyable. Too bad the Twins couldn’t have faced this Joe Nelson… or this one… or the one who lives in Albert Lea.

Maybe you had your own moments from the game, but that pretty much covered what we saw in Section 220. It was all downhill after a quick pregame visit with Ronald McDonald by the Metrodome switchboard.  Maybe the Twins’ll have better luck if King and SpongeBob show up tonight.

First of all, I’d gladly trade the Fan Appreciation Weekend streak we’re on — the Cub Foods gift card Friday and being in the Hormel Row of Fame today — for a couple of victories. We’re team players, after all, in Section 220.

But we really shouldn’t have to think about making that sacrifice.

Instead, in the head thumping following this loss, there’s little to think about but the ifs.

If the Twins hadn’t grounded into rally-thwarting double plays with runners on first and third and one out while they were scoring in the second and third…

If Boof hadn’t lunged for (and deflected) the one-hopper in the sixth that went from being a double play grounder to a game-tying single…

If Nick Punto was a few inches taller than 4-foot-20, he would have been able to grab that soft liner during the Royals’ sixth-inning rally…

If Matt Guerrier had… (More on that later.)

If Jesse Crain hadn’t thrown a wild pitch on the third strike to Jose Guillen in the seventh…

Then the infield wouldn’t have been playing in with one out and runners on second and third…

And the feeble pop-up by the next batter would have beem an easy grab for Morneau instead of a two-run single that brought home the game-deciding runs…

If Alexi Casilla, normally the slickest of bunters, hadn’t popped up on his try in the seventh…

If the probable batting champion and the possible MVP hadn’t joined the ranks of the GDP guys with runners on base in the seventh and ninth.

If, if, if, if.

Then all the post-game grrrrrrrrrrrrs, as in Grrrrrrrrrrrrr-rier, wouldn’t be cycling through baseball fans in these parts.

The one thing I’m still trying to figure out is keeping the seriously struggling Matt Guerrier in to start the seventh inning — when the Royals scored their final two runs — after he used mirrors and a good defensive play by Brendan Harris at third base to escape the sixth, retiring the Nos 8 and 9 guys in the Royals order with the bases loaded. Guerrier had fallen behind 2-and-0 on both of them, so it’s not like those were lights-out outs.

A quick refresher for those who need to be reminded how much Guerrier had struggled this month and last — or for those who hopped this blogwagon in the last couple of weeks: Guerrier has given up 22 earned runs in 19 2/3 innings since August 1, putting 45 base runners on (more than two per inning) during that time. He’s been the losing pitcher five times, including today.

With all of the arms-in-waiting in the bullpen, I was pretty amazed that Gardy kept Guerrier in the game to start the seventh against the top of the Kansas City order. Two hits later he was swapped out for another right-hander, Jesse Crain, whom I’d expected to see start the inning.

Gardy has done a better job managing the bullpen than a lot of people give him credit for, and has revamped his A-list relievers as needed down the stretch. But this one was a puzzler.

Earlier this week, Gardy got testy about being second-guessed about choosing Kubel over Cuddyer (on the night when Kubel came through with two homers and a triple against the White Sox and Javier “Big Game” Vazquez). Baseball is about second-guessing. Fans and media second-guessing decisions made from the front office to the dugout; talk-show callers blasting away whether or not they know what they’re talking about; bloggers and their commenters challenging the universe and each other.

That’s all part of the fun (baseball is a game) and everyone needs to accept it, including a very good manager who finds himself in an unexpected and unanticipated title race on the final day of the regular-season schedule. Come season’s end, regardless of when that is or how things play out over the next day or so, I will be among those calling for appreciation  for players, a coaching staff and a front office that kept us from having to get our thrills mostly by trying to ruin other teams’ seasons.

And one more thing: All along, when people asked for my MVP thoughts, I’ve deferred by talking about how making the right choice could literally come down to the final days of the season. Our hearts tell us Morneau. But if I look at these last couple weeks, I’m seeing 10 hits in his last 50 at-bats with no home runs and 5 RBI.

What if he’d gone on one of his hot streaks to close out the season, with a couple of memorable game-changing at-bats? Then we’d be saying MVP, no doubt. After all, a couple more game-changing at-bats (or probably even playing at the pace of his season-long numbers) and we’d be watching the reserves get some playing time while getting ready for Thursday’s post-season opener against Tampa Day.

Right now, it’s coming down to the regular season’s final swings — for MVP and for the playoffs. I hope Morneau brings a few good ones to the ballpark on Sunday so that it’s easy to look back on his excellent season the way we should.

And I hope that everyone else in the home team’s colors brings their “A” games, as well as everyone (for one more day) in a Cleveland uniform.

I’m kind of frustrated and a bit befuddled right now. But I still believe this thing is going to turn out all right — and that I’m gonna be at a baseball game in the Metrodome next Sunday.

As the prophet-in-training Carlos Gomez told Joe Christensen after the game: “Yeah, it’s one game tomorrow. But it’s not the last game.”

Can I get an Amen, people?!

First of all, for some reason, there’s all kinds of bad Cleveland “fight songs.” I mean, seriously, stuff that makes the Hormel RowHallof Fame song sound like Sweet Caroline. Whatever, here’s a link that’ll get you to some of them, and it would be good to pick your favorite and hum it under your breath while Cleveland’s playing the White Sox.

Let’s Go Tribe!

Weird dynamic at the Dome last night. The Twins were down early and badly, and people stayed in good spirits, probably because of the hangover from Thursday night’s game. Folks were still getting to their feet with two strikes even when the score was 6-0 and it was obvious that Liriano wasn’t sharp. Folks also were missing plays on the Metrodome field every now and again because they were watching the scoreboard updates out of Chicago. It was fun to listen to glum Ed Farmer call the final outs of the White Sox’ 11-8 loss on the way home.

The fan behavior is totally understandable, although I’m a bit concerned that Liriano has thrown two clunkers in his last three starts, with the only win coming at Tampa Bay the afternoon after the Rays clinched and presumably celebrated pretty hard.

It must be pretty pathetic to be the Royals and reduced to being excited about being a spoiler on an annual basis. We used to tell the joke of the Twins that must apply in Kansas City right now — the one about wondering whether the fan will remember to show up for Fan Appreciation Weekend. The best news in our row was when Ms. Baseball had her number pulled. Not that a Cub Foods gift card is anything to sneeze at, but you think that Trader Joe’s could sponsor the Twins the way they do the Athletics? Just askin’ for next season.

Back to baseball. It’s time for Glen Perkins to show that the week off from being skipped in the rotation will return him to mid-summer form. The solid hands in the bullpen all got the night off Friday, so they’ll be ready if he can go 6 or 7 strong. Time to recapture the midweek magic this afternoon and then check out Javier “Big Game” Vazquez when evening falls.

And speaking of music, remember this one?