This “offer” wins the gobbledygook award, but not Bessie Chaten’s $20
Most of us here at the Star Tribune know Bessie Chaten as the friendly lady who works nights in the cafeteria upstairs. She recently got a letter in the mail that seemed to offer her $2.5 million, in exchange for $20.
I suppose whoever wrote it - the return address is a box in a Mail Boxes Etc. store in New York City - didn’t count on anyone actually reading the incomprehensible text. It appears to have been written by a computer, on paper with images of eagles and stamps and places to sign and initial, with random combinations of official-sounding phrases, such as “Please send My Award Availability and Entry Data which includes all directives for proper entrant for payment participation.”
Finally, in small letters toward the bottom, is something that is the closest approximation of an explanation: “Award availability and entry data office carefully acquires and makes available entry directives for public available free awards and prizes. We report to customers for self-entry into such opportunities. Prizes are rendered by the reported individual sponsors. We do not pay awards.”
So, pay us $20 and we’ll enter you into some sweepstakes. If anyone else can make sense out of this thing (pdf here), please let me know.





